Morning Sideboob: Rashida Jones, Almighty Morality Crusader

"Cuban Fury" World Premiere - Arrivals

Teens Ruined by XXX

Rashida Jones, star of “Parks & Recreation” and daughter of music producer Quincy Jones, has a lot to say about the state of the world. Last year she was accused of slut-shaming celebs who dare to bare skin.

Screen Shot 2014-04-14 at 12.42.47 PM

And now she’s sharing her views on porn. It’s ruining EVERYTHING. The kids are tainted. The Internet is the devil. Brains are busted. And we’re all going to die because of the pornography. It’s over, Johnny. Thanks, porno…for nothing!

I think the biggest factor there is porn. Porn is so easily accessible to everybody. One of the psychologists I was on [a recent] panel with was saying she had a friend who was trying to do a study about young boys and the effect of porn on young boys, but they couldn’t find enough young men who hadn’t watched porn for the sample group. It’s totally rampant. Porn is fine for adults as entertainment, but your brain is still forming until you’re 26. Your ideas of love and romance and sex are being formed by the things that you watch at a super young age. We had girlie magazines and stuff like that, where you had to fill in the gaps, you had to use your imagination to make things sexy. There’s just nothing left to the imagination now, across the board.

OK, let’s see if we got this straight…

Vagina showing = bad
Being a whore = bad
Girlie mags = good
Porn for a 26-year-old = bad
Porn for a 27-year-old = good

Got it!

We know the type. Rashida probably used to stomp her feet and turn red in the face defending Madonna’s actions back in the day. And now she’s shaking her 38-year-old judgmental finger at the cult of Miley Cyrus. Get off your high horse, girlie.

[Rashida Jones Photo by PR Photo]

Cameron Diaz Not Down With Monogamy

Screen Shot 2014-04-14 at 3.27.28 PM

She’s dated Hollywood heavyweights such as Justin Timberlake, Matt Dillon, and Jared Leto, and Cameron Diaz isn’t stopping there. Or anywhere. The star of the upcoming film The Other Woman says she doesn’t believe in monogamy. She told InStyle magazine it’s not natural.

A lot of people chase after it because they’ve been told, ‘This equals happiness.’ They chase it, they get it, and then they find out, ‘Why did I think this was going to make me happy? I’m miserable.’ I don’t know if anyone is really naturally monogamous. We all have the same instincts as animals. But we live in a society where it’s been ingrained in us to do these things.

Look for a disapproving tweet from Rashida Jones coming your way, Cameron.

Pharrell Cries Because He’s Happy

“Happy” by Pharrell is the “Don’t Worry Be Happy” of its time, and once your eardrums have heard a millisecond of its melody, you’re in for a day of humming along.

Here, try it:

The hit maker—who seems to be a pretty cool guy—was recently interviewed by Oprah, and she showed him a video montage of people around the world singing and dancing to the song, which had quite an effect on him. Pharell broke down and started crying…in his Smokey the Bear hat.

We like how Oprah had to play the grandma card when he was already crying. You got what you wanted. Back off, you bloodsucker!

Sideboob of the Day

Here’s Rita Ora at the MTV Movie Awards, the girl Rob Kardashian has been all depressed over losing…and now we know why.

2014 MTV Movie Awards - Arrivals

[Rita Ora photo by PR Photos]

You may also like...

  • You leave Rashida Jones alone!I happen to have a lot of respect for Ms. Jones.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      We got a thing going on…

  • mimsy18

    I can see Rashida’s points; she’s trying to battle a culture that put Kim Kardashian on the cover of Vogue. Rashida had my favorite mean girl cameo on “Freaks and Geeks”.

  • Camacho/Trump 2016!!

    Gotta go with the other two posters sentiments re: Rashida Jones and porn. Probably because I have two little girls who I am dreading becoming teenagers. It is fucking up young kids brains, no question.

  • gingerland62

    “Slut shaming”It depends what you are calling slutty, if you are using the same term for men as well as women I find no problem in the word. This whole idea that strippers and porn stars are feminists is ludicrous. Do porn if you want but don’t pretend you’re Betty Friedan, and don’t pretend it doesn’t damage society.

  • uptown brothers

    did somebody change the rules, or does what I am perceiving and have known as “cleavage” now fall (see what I did there) within the rubric of sideboob (which I had always understood to be the outside, I would have said “dorsal” or “ventral” or “lateral” if I could remember which one of those was which, so…sorry)

  • redarmyzombie

    I’m gonna have to go against the popular consensus here; contrary to the concern trolling of others, I was a voracious consumer of pornography as a wee young’un, and there’s nothing stunted or damaged about my emotions or sexuality.And now, we return to your regularly scheduled snark.