May 1, 2020
Moonraker (1979) (part 6 of 14)
Like most other things in the film, it starts off decently enough. Bond is sitting in his gondola while Deadmeat, oh, sorry, “Franco the gondolier” paddles casually. As they move down the canal, a funeral lorry (I think that’s what it’s called, anyway. Let’s just settle on it being a boat with a dead dude on it, because we still have a lot of film to cover) heads down the canal in the opposite direction. As the two pass each other, the coffin opens up to reveal a zombie. Whoa, don’t recall that part.
Oh wait, he’s actually just one of Drax’s thugs, but the dude is so pale and gaunt that it’s an easy mistake to make. Anyway, he has a rather nice collection of knives in the coffin lid, one of which ends up saying hello to Franco’s chest. Bond ducks another throw and tosses the knife back at the thug, and the knife ends up implanted in his chest. The thug then falls down dead and the coffin lid closes on him. See, kids? That’s why you should never play in coffins. You’ll end up in one permanently.