Mister T “Fortune Cookie Caper” (part 2 of 8)

For this live-action bookend, Mr. T is sitting at a picnic table surrounded by closed-up Chinese food takeout containers, all of which are as pristine and obviously empty as the big cardboard boxes in Future War. T is opening them up one by one, apparently looking for something. Where is my brain? Nope, not in this one. Nope, not here either. Dang. Where did I put it? I might need it later!

Caption contributed by Mark

“Ugh! Who puked in here?”

By the way, we learn here, to no one’s surprise, that T is a big ol’ mouth-breather. I expected to see a sliver of drool flow down into one of the takeout containers. He’s also wearing so much gold around his neck that I think I can see, way in the back of the shot there, an army of salivating Conquistadors.

Finally, T finds what he’s looking for: the fortune cookies. This perplexed me, because—at least here in New York—the fortune cookies don’t normally come inside the white takeout containers. Maybe they do that in other parts of the world, or in the strange little world that Mr. T lives in. But my first thought was that the crew actually hid the fortune cookies from T, just to recreate the Ang-Uh! segment from his Be Somebody video.

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Mark "Scooter" Wilson

Mark is a history guy, a graphics guy, a guy for whom wryly cynical assessments of popular culture are the scallion cream cheese on the toasted everything bagel of life. He spends his time teaching modern history at Brooklyn College, pondering the ancient Romans at the CUNY Graduate Center, and conjuring maps and illustrations for ungrateful bankers at various Manhattan monoliths. Readers are welcome to guess at reasons why he's nicknamed Scooter, with the proviso that all such submissions are guaranteed to be rather more interesting than the truth. Mark lives in the Midwood section of Brooklyn with a happy-go-lucky, flop-eared dog named Chiyo who is probably, at this very moment, waiting patiently for her walkies.

Multi-Part Article: Mister T "Fortune Cookie Caper"

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