Mister T “Cape Kennedy Caper” (part 5 of 7)

The darkroom is bathed in that low, red light that darkrooms are always bathed in. Robin opens the door a crack, and sees the bad guy developing film, and her camera on the table. Just then, Cruela grabs her from behind. What happens next is… confusing. And insane. At long last, something that’s flat out insane!

Robin is in a hallway on the left, the door to the darkroom is on the right. Cruela suddenly grabs her from behind. The door to the darkroom flies open. For reasons not entirely grounded in physics, the darkroom stays dark. None of the hallway photons cross through the open door. The film is not instantly ruined the way it would be in a rational world. Mr. T pities the universe where cause and effect are in any way related.

Robin jumps from Cruela’s grasp to the left, away from the darkroom. She does a front handspring, launching herself to the left and landing on a table in… the darkroom. The hell? It’s definitely the darkroom. It’s all red and stuff.

Caption contributed by Jordon

The darkroom is on the right.

Caption contributed by Jordon

Robin throws herself left.

Caption contributed by Jordon

BAMF! Darkroom!

Cruela jumps up on the table, sneering, “I don’t have time for your playground gymnastics!” Seriously, Cruela, give her some credit. You’re not going to see a forward handspring that rips a hole in the fabric of space on your average playground.

Robin, up to the challenge, does a back handspring. The male bad guy grabs her feet. Since he’s far heavier than Robin, this should bring her to the ground in a heap. Instead, it’s like he caught the reins of a moving horse. He gets whipped around, pulled up in the air, and lands on his face with a thud.

Caption contributed by Jordon

For obvious reasons, this shot had to be CGIed.

So, I think I figured out Robin’s power. She can vary her density. If she wants to do all sorts of gymnastics things, she can become exceedingly light. But then she can become super-dense—like, black hole dense—if she needs to create a wormhole or flip a bad guy into the air. And, also, somehow this power makes her a complete cold sore.

Whatever her power, it doesn’t help to explain what happens next. Cruela grabs Robin and subdues her by… twisting her arm behind her back. That’s it. That’s Robin’s weakness. She becomes powerless once her left thumb touches the small of her back.

Cruela asks, “What do we do with this Nancy Drew?” Wow, I wish Cruela had been talking like this the entire episode. Saying stuff like, “The acid I spill will still make them ill.” That would have been cool.

The male bad guy says he knows the perfect place, and slaps some duct tape over Robin’s mouth. I’m with you on at least half of this plan, Male Bad Guy.

Cruela hands Robin over, saying she’ll finish developing the film “that has the launch code and vector coordinates.” It’s nice to see the bad guys are cross-trained. They can both develop film. I assume they can both drive the tram. Too often we see bad guys that don’t take the time to properly prepare. And that’s about standards. That’s about the craft.

By the way, I have no idea what “vector coordinates” are in this context. It certainly sounds like nonsense.

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Jordon Davis

B.A. Political Science, SUNY Albany - 1991
Master of Public Administration, University of Georgia - 1993
Juris Doctorate, Emory University - 1996

Admitted:
State of Georgia - 1996
State of New York - 1997

Winner:
Fields Medal (with Laurent Lafforgue and Vladimir Voevodsky) - 1998

Follow Jordon at @LossLeader on Twitter.

Multi-Part Article: Mister T "Cape Kennedy Caper"

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