May 1, 2020
Minority Report “Hawkeye”
[Note: My recaps of Minority Report are brought to you by my generous Patreon benefactors over at Happy Nice Time People, where TV is your friend! Visit the Agony Booth Patreon page to request your own recap, or donate just $1 and get rid of the “Become a Patron” popup you see on every page.]
Previously on Minority Report: Dash is a precog who did nothing but watch people get murdered for a decade, and Det. Vega’s a cop who’s “tired of picking up the pieces”—together, they fight crime! They learned about the “Hawkeye” program, which is “predictive policing based on hard data” instead of trivial things like psychic visions. Speaking of which, Agatha had a vision of the precogs getting forcibly drafted back into Precrime and she knows Vega will somehow be involved.
We get a view of the highway in future DC (which is evidently called a “magway”, due to the levitating cars), while we hear that “How you like me now” song from every movie trailer. A couple is in a car, and the husband is engaging in insane, risky behavior: he’s actually driving his car himself. The wife is nervous and wants to go back to “driverless” mode, but he floors it.
Just then, they get a transmission on the dashboard from a Metro PD officer, saying that on behalf of the Hawkeye program, they’re designating him an “orange level threat to public safety” due to his current erratic behavior. His license and legal rights have been suspended, and the guy pounds on the dashboard and screams, “You can’t do this to me!” And on that less than impressive cold open, we go to the credits.
At Metro PD headquarters, all the officers are gathered around as Det. Blake and some woman from “Central” explain that they’ll be taking part in the “Hawkeye pilot program”. Basically, this means they’ll have computers analyze security footage and other data and determine who’s a “risk to public safety”, and then they’ll closely monitor them. But the woman from Central insists, “this is not Precrime!” It’s just… preventing crimes before they happen. Completely different.
Vega speaks up, saying it’s a bit stupid to target people just for acting weird. Blake responds by saying that as part of the program, some officers will be “partnered with civilian analysts”, and to her annoyance, he thinks Vega is the “perfect woman for the job”.
And now Arthur and Dash are out riding bikes together in the woods. Dash suddenly brakes just before a jogger darts out in front of them, but Arthur takes a tumble. Arthur knows he had a vision of that happening, and Dash says a line I can’t believe someone got paid to write: “You know, sometimes being a drug baby has its advantages!”
Arthur reminds us that he can only see names, and in fact, he knows the name of the jogger. Dash asks if he got her number too, and Arthur just smirks. They sit down, and Arthur takes out what looks like breath strips with the marijuana leaf logo of “Hart’s Totally Baked Goods” (as seen in the pilot). He casually pops an edible in his mouth while saying he enjoys taking “the edge off”, in another reminder of our inevitable future of legal recreational drug use.
He asks about the detective Dash has been palling around with, and wants him to be more careful around her. Dash thinks he only sees the worst in people, but Arthur says he should, because “there’s a worst in everyone dying to get out!” Then Arthur does the trademark Precog Wince and goes, “Like your new friend, Mr. Messero.” Dash doesn’t know anyone named Messero, and that’s when he jerks back and gets a vision of a future murder. The murderer is the same guy who was speeding in the intro, and Dash sees him on a backwoods road getting into a fight and stomping a guy to death.
Back at Wally’s place, they’re once again pulling the vision out of Dash’s brain and projecting it onto the wall. And this time, they’ve got a name from Arthur, but Wally already recognizes the future perpetrator as Mark Messero, the “chief creative officer” of a technology company called “Narcissus”.
Vega calls Akeela and has her analyze a still photo of the victim. She identifies him as Trevor Maloney, and somehow knows he’s in town training for a bicycle race. Akeela also sees that Mark Messero was just flagged by the Hawkeye program for “high risk behavior”, so now a Hawkeye unit will be able to track his every move.
Vega tells Dash to come work with her, and apply to be one of those “civilian analysts” needed by the Hawkeye program. “We’d have a real cover!” But Dash is freaking out at the prospect of going back to Metro PD headquarters, because it’s the same place where he was hooked up to machines in the milk bath. But supposedly, Wally was the only person who ever saw the precogs up close, leading to the dubious notion that Dash won’t be recognized when he goes back there. Dash points out he doesn’t even have a “legal name”, but Vega reminds him Arthur is an “identity thief” and can hook him up.
And now we get a repeat of Agatha’s vision from the stinger of the previous episode. Agatha and Arthur are soon having a phone conversation, I think, even though all we see is the two of them standing in different rooms and talking to the empty air. Maybe they’re having a psychic conversation?
Agatha describes her vision, and how she sees Det. Vega present when they’re put back in the milk bath. Agatha thinks the government wants the precogs back for some sort of “secret program”, and they need someone on the “inside” to help them out. And she apparently won’t have trouble finding someone, because as Arthur points out, she lives on “the island of misfit toys, full of people running away from the government”. So I guess that island isn’t nearly as isolated as we’ve been told repeatedly. Agatha probably lives somewhere in Jersey.
Cut to Arthur at an outdoor restaurant, where he gets served a… skewer of burnt insects on a bed of dried fruit? That’s my best guess. Vega and Dash are here looking for his help, but this time it’s to secure a fake identity for Dash, who reveals he wants to work for the police. This causes Arthur to almost choke on whatever he’s eating. He refuses to help, but then Vega says she knows Arthur is using his precog skills to illegally make money at off-track betting, and so blackmails him into helping out.
Now we’re at Vega’s home, where she and Akeela are relaxing over wine, and Vega finally confesses that she’s working with a precog. Akeela gets all fan-girly and asks what he’s like and wants to meet him. Vega says that she will in fact be meeting him soon, because Akeela is the one interviewing people for that Hawkeye “civilian analyst” job. This makes Akeela terrified, because apparently letting precogs work for the police is a fireable offense.
Back on the island, Agatha is paying a visit to her neighbor Charlie. And after the stock footage in the pilot, this is the second-closest thing this show has given us to a Tom Cruise cameo, because Charlie is played by Tom’s cousin William Mapother (he had a bit part in the movie, though I doubt he’s meant to be the same character). Agatha asks why he moved out here, but thanks to her abilities, she already knows why: he embezzled $1.7 million from his former employer. Charlie replies that he’s starting to think what people say around here must be true: Agatha is a “witch”. Because clearly, that’s the most logical explanation. He angrily walks away and she already knows he’s heading for his safe.
Back in DC, Dash is looking nervous about walking back into Metro PD headquarters for the first time since his precog days. Soon, he’s in an interview with Akeela, who’s also nervous. His new fake name is “Dashiell Parker”, and Akeela is still worried about getting fired, but she gives him the job anyway.
…And then come back to the Agony Booth next week for my recap of episode four. That is, of course, assuming that Minority Report is actually still on the air by then.