May 1, 2018
Millions Destroy TVs with Firearms over Caitlyn Jenner Award
Somewhere in the state of Alabamy, a drama queen called Bob k. became so ENRAGED by Caitlyn Jenner’s getting an ESPN Courage Award that he shot his TV with a gun, videoed it, and put it on the YouTube in the hopes of starting a movement.
It wasn’t even a flatscreen, so maybe he was planning to get rid of it anyway.
“To heck with you, media,” says he, “I’m done with you.” He also calls Caitlyn a “nutcase.” Which seems odd because Caitlyn isn’t the one filming herself shooting a television and acting as though she had a personal relationship with “the media” (even though she actually does).
We’re not sure what exactly Bob k. found “sickening” about giving the award to Jenner. Perhaps he thought Caitlyn didn’t deserve it. Sure, she waited years to transition, out of fear that dickheads in the boonies would have this kind of reaction, and it took her reaching the northern most point of middle-age before she finally said “fuck it” and went public. There are probably queer and trans teens in Bob k’s very state who demonstrate at least as much courage every single day as she does—and at even more risk to their lives. (There are a lot of people who go around shooting at stuff and people they don’t like in those places.) Maybe that’s what he found so unfair about Kaitlyn’s getting the award.
Then again, there might be more to it. He actually taped Kaitlyn’s picture to the TV he shot. That seems a tad personal in a stalkerish kind of way. Maybe Caitlyn looking all glammed up and hot gives him urges he doesn’t understand, or perhaps he resents all the attention she is getting because no one ever tells him how hot he looks in a dress and Vanity Fair never offered him a photo-shoot, not even once.
Frankly, we could think of many reasons to KILL YOUR TELEVISION (the Wayward Pines finale for instance) but giving somebody an award for choosing to live the remainder of her life authentically in a way that harms absolutely not a single soul would not be one of them.