Aug 31, 2017
Morning Sideboob: Miley Shares Her Sex Toy With the World
Miley Needs a Helping Hand
Another day, another Miley “controversy.” This time it came by way of sex toy tweets, more specifically, the Hand of Adonis, a 16 1/2-inch replication of an arm.
In case viewers didn’t “get it,” Miley included this shot as well.
So subtle, that girl.
Meanwhile, she didn’t take too kindly to the explanation her gal pal Katy Perry gave while on Australian talk show “Sunrise” about why Katy pulled away from their kiss.
“I just walked up to her to give her like a friendly girly kiss, you know, as girls do. And then she like tried to move her head and go deeper and I pulled away. God knows where that tongue has been. We don’t know! That tongue is so infamous!”
Oh, no she di’int. Did she really think Miley was going to let that one go?
Joey Fatone Walked in on Lance Bass With a Guy
When we read the headline that Joey Fatone “walked in on” Lance Bass with a guy, we thought we were in for some dirty details. We pictured leather, glitter, and techno music blaring. But no, the salacious tale was just that Lance had a guy sitting on his lap…a guy with clothes on. Come on!
Still, it’s a precarious situation to find yourself in if you’re trying to pass yourself off to the world as a straight boy bander who makes all the girls swoon. Poor Lance even went so far as to pretend he was dating Topanga from “Boy Meets World.”
But once the Fat One witnessed the lap-sitting incident, the Chanel-wearing, diamond-collared cat was out of the bag.
Lance told Access Hollywood:
Joey walked in on me with the guy I was dating just kind of sitting on my lap. Straight guys don’t do that. He was like, ‘Dude, I don’t care.’ I’m like, ‘Surprise!’ Joey was just like, ‘Dude, I don’t care. I have so many gay friends — I don’t care.’
We’re sure Joey wasn’t as shocked as Lance thought he was.
Jared Leto Calls Jennifer Lawrence’s Trip an Act
Now that he’s got his Oscar in hand, Jared Leto is feeling confident enough to turn on America’s Sweetheart, Jennifer Lawrence. As you’ll recall, when Jennifer won the Best Actress trophy last year for her role in Silver Linings Playbook, she ate it while trying to walk up the stairs to the podium.
It made her so endearing in the eyes of the public. So real. “She’s just like us,” the masses thought. “We trip and fall all the time. It’s usually over cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon strewn across our 500-square-foot home, but still!”
Fast-forward to 2014 and Jennifer falls once again at the Oscars, this time while trying to get out of her limo.
Well, Jared Leto is calling bullshit.
You know, I’m starting to wonder if this is a bit of an act.
You know what, we’re starting to wonder if Leto is a bit of a douche.
Johnny Carson Sex Tape for Sale
Long before Tommy and Pam, Kim and Ray J, and Paris and Rick, there was Johnny and Joanna, as in Johnny Carson and his wife Joanna Holland. That’s right, someone got their hands on a Johnny Carson sex tape and is trying to sell it so all can see the late-night legend in action. And apparently, it shows that Johnny had more in common with Tommy Lee than just a sex tape.
The sexytime tape owner wanted to sell it to Carson’s estate, but they said no, and that they’d sue if it was sold. But the Keeper Of The Tape is still looking to sell it to private parties. Scandaloussss!!! Reportedly, the tape features all 10 inches of Johnny getting poolside attention from his third wife Joanna Holland. Then, they moved into the bedroom where Mr. Carson gave her 20 minutes of his loving!
Feeling a little woozy. We’re going to go ahead and watch this now.