Michelle Duggar wants a better look at your genitalia before you head into the restroom with her daughter


If there’s one thing I’ve learned since taking over Happy Nice Time People, it’s that you people just can’t get enough of the playful antics of Michelle Duggar and all the godly spawn to come tumbling out of her clown car of a vagina. Everywhere I go, people shout, “You’re still going to recap the Duggars, right?” and “Please tell me you’ll keep recapping 19 Kids and Counting!” and “Why aren’t you wearing pants?”


Well, our dear Mrs. Duggar has something to say on that last topic, namely pants-wearing, and not just that women shouldn’t be the one doing it in the household. No, it’s literal pants-wearing that has her figurative panties in a wad. You see, Michelle is VERY concerned that some people in Fayetteville, Ark., (a place she does not live) might be wearing the wrong covering over the wrong genitalia!

“Hello, this is Michelle Duggar. I’m calling to inform you of some shocking news that would affect the safety of Northwest Arkansas women and children,” she warns in a robo-call. “The Fayetteville City Council is voting on an ordinance this Tuesday night that would allow men – yes, I said men – to use women’s and girls’ restrooms, locker rooms, showers, sleeping areas and other areas that are designated for females only.”

Yes, she said men! Including “males with past child predator convictions!” Shocking!

Here’s audio of the full robo-call:

Fayetteville City Attorney Kit Williams takes a somewhat less sensationalized approach: “This ordinance does allow transgender people to use the bathroom in which they feel most comfortable and physically safe.” Pft, he’ll never get his own reality show that way.

Conflating transgender women with male child predators is ignorant and bigoted enough on its own, but here’s what blows my mind: if Mrs. Duggar really thinks cross-dressing convicted child molesters are running willy-nilly around Fayetteville — with no legal restrictions on how close they can be to children, especially naked ones — why is she hell-bent on sending those dolled-up perverts into the men’s room with her sons? Won’t someone please think of the children?!

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