Michelle Duggar wants a better look at your genitalia before you head into the restroom with her daughter


If there’s one thing I’ve learned since taking over Happy Nice Time People, it’s that you people just can’t get enough of the playful antics of Michelle Duggar and all the godly spawn to come tumbling out of her clown car of a vagina. Everywhere I go, people shout, “You’re still going to recap the Duggars, right?” and “Please tell me you’ll keep recapping 19 Kids and Counting!” and “Why aren’t you wearing pants?”

Well, our dear Mrs. Duggar has something to say on that last topic, namely pants-wearing, and not just that women shouldn’t be the one doing it in the household. No, it’s literal pants-wearing that has her figurative panties in a wad. You see, Michelle is VERY concerned that some people in Fayetteville, Ark., (a place she does not live) might be wearing the wrong covering over the wrong genitalia!

“Hello, this is Michelle Duggar. I’m calling to inform you of some shocking news that would affect the safety of Northwest Arkansas women and children,” she warns in a robo-call. “The Fayetteville City Council is voting on an ordinance this Tuesday night that would allow men – yes, I said men – to use women’s and girls’ restrooms, locker rooms, showers, sleeping areas and other areas that are designated for females only.”

Yes, she said men! Including “males with past child predator convictions!” Shocking!

Here’s audio of the full robo-call:

Fayetteville City Attorney Kit Williams takes a somewhat less sensationalized approach: “This ordinance does allow transgender people to use the bathroom in which they feel most comfortable and physically safe.” Pft, he’ll never get his own reality show that way.

Conflating transgender women with male child predators is ignorant and bigoted enough on its own, but here’s what blows my mind: if Mrs. Duggar really thinks cross-dressing convicted child molesters are running willy-nilly around Fayetteville — with no legal restrictions on how close they can be to children, especially naked ones — why is she hell-bent on sending those dolled-up perverts into the men’s room with her sons? Won’t someone please think of the children?!

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  • TheLifeSilica

    Ugh, terrible woman.And a friendly style tip! Just transgender women, not transgendered women. Unless you start saying whited male, Asianed teen, etc. Which, to be honest, would be pretty funny.

  • We all know that “transgender” is just a fancy word for pedophiles. You cannot fool Michelle Duggar! And you cannot make her 31 daughters or however many she has at the moment use the same restrooms in Fayetteville as those child predators, even though Michelle does not live in Fayetteville, and this is a local ordinance that would not affect her or her daughters in any way, but STILL!

    • Nixon, etc.

      I’ve never seen the show, but maybe they all go to Fayetteville to maybe use the lavishly-appointed public restrooms there, maybe?

  • hvdv

    First: I like what you’ve done with the place. Second: as I told the Wonket, Michelle Duggar can come and look at my genitals anytime. As long as I get a Duggar Arkansas Restroom Permit (DARP!) in return. If you have an email address for Michelle, I’ll even send her copious amounts of photographic evidence of my genitals. And those of all of my friends. None of us want her to fail in her self-appointed job at the Department of Junk.

  • Nixon, etc.

    I’m so torn! I was all ready to construct a fun zinger about not hearing her say “yes men” or whatever because of my malfunctioning ear trumpet (it was gonna be pretty good) — then you wrote “dolled-up perverts” and I didn’t know what to do! That’s such a great zinger right there, and I’m powerless. :o[Well done. I can’t top “dolled-up perverts”…ever.(Please write another thingy with some type of hearing/audio reference (NOT about those new TV musicals…bleccch) so I can do my ear trumpet joke. Thanks-in-advance!)