May 29, 2018
Man Time: Dingers! Dingers!
“Oh boy, man hit baseball, man hit baseball far!” said every baseball fan last night, because it was Major League Baseball’s Home Run Derby. “The man, he held the bat? And then he hit the baseball, wowie it go so far!” baseball fans continued, while sucking down self-served beer at Minnesota’s Target Field.
This reaction was not limited to sportsball fans. Even the sportsball players got in on it. Here’s Pittsburgh Pirates center fielder and reigning National League MVP Andrew McCutchen’s reaction to one particularly well-hit sportsball.
It’s silly, but it’s also a pretty clear distillation of the reason why people watch sportsball in the first place. We want to watch the sports person do the sports thing, and we want him or her to do it so hard, so much harder than we mere mortals ever could. Does it matter that Major League Baseball basically saved itself by turning a blind eye to steroids? Of course not, look at how far that home run just went! DINGERS! DINGERS!
Here’s Florida Marlins outfielder Giancarlo Stanton with what was unquestionably the best home run of the night. Don’t act like you’re not impressed — Andrew McCutchen certainly didn’t. The crowd’s reaction shots might seem subdued, but bear in mind that this took place in Minnesota, and these sorts of unbridled displays of emotion are usually reserved for one’s wedding night.
Unfortunately, the Home Run Derby was marred by not only a rain delay but also but ESPN announcer Chris Berman, who was apparently inconvenienced by having to actually stand up during the event’s Stand Up To Cancer moment. And unfortunately for Berman, his well-documented awfulness as a human was once again verified thanks to a hot mic.
Oh, hot mic, you are the gift that keeps on giving. On a night designed to help us tell ourselves a nice, friendly bedtime story about the national pastime, you caught Chris Berman being a tool and made us remember that these are grown men taking batting practice for tons and tons of money. Never change, hot mic, never change.
Follow Dan on Twitter. He misses the Metrodome.