Oct 2, 2019
Make Sure We Never Forget Coffee Or Benghazi With These Practical And Stylish And Stackable Mugs
As we get closer to the actual day of our Lord’s birth — yeah, we went there! Merry Christmas Jesus Birthday, America! None of this mealy-mouthed “Happy Holidays” for us, dammit — we’ve been thinking a lot about what we’re grateful for. Oh wait, that’s Thanksgiving. This is Christmas. We’ve been thinking a lot about presents, because that is what Jesus cared most about — stacking fat wads of cash and gifts under the Christmas tree.
Not all presents need be jolly, however. Sometimes we need presents that remind us of the darkest times in our history, because what better time than a holiday set in the dead of Seasonal Affective Disorder Season to get maudlin or angry or both? That’s why this year, we’re asking you for these Benghazi’s Murderers Mugs, so that we can commemorate the greatest tragedy in American history, worse than the American Revolution and Antietam and 9/11 and the 1984 Summer Olympics and the Ishtar movie put together: Benghazi!!!11!!!.
These mugs do not play, people. With every delicious sip of our morning cup of coffee laced with meth and rage, we’ll see Obama’s murder-y face.
And then we’ll turn that cup around and we’ll see Hillary
and we’ll get so mad we’ll pitch our coffee cups across the room, which is why you really better get us the set of four mugs so we have some spares.
Not feeling a regular old coffee mug? Feel like you’d like to get us something for travel? Consider this Official Obama Benghazi Cover-Up T-Shirt Stainless Steel Travel Mug.
No, we don’t know why it is called a t-shirt but is also a mug, but we do not care because BENGHAZIIIIIIIIIII so buy us this immediately. Our recommended daily allowance of Obama-fueled rage depends on it.
[h/t Atlantic Wire, which has many more delightfully awful political gifts with which you can annoy your friends and coworkers this holiday season.]
[We are the reason for the motherfucking season, so get us something from our Christmas list.]