Madonna Goes To Art Jail

Madonna Goes To Art Jail

Madonna has been having some Thoughts y’all. First, Madonna is being oppressed. She is in Art Jail, because of fascism and dictators, and she would like to tell you about it for the length of a 17-minute tone poem about art being crushed by the fascist dictators of corporate branding and trendiness and some other fascist dictators too, we forget which, she keeps talking for 17 minutes.


I did my tour of duty this year. I saw many things I did not like. I saw apathy, I saw intolerance. I saw desperation and poverty.

Hmmmm, you know who might be able to help with desperation and poverty, particularly, say, in a place like Malawi? Madonna might, that is who might!


Here is the thing. This video is preposterous — “this revolution will not be televised, it won’t be on the internet, it won’t be an app on your iPhone … YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD IT.”

Madonna, babes, WE JUST DID.


There is a baby carriage on fire, with a goosestepping Nazi in front of it. Then there are NYPD officers, doing how they do.

But while it’s entirely ridiculous, it’s also so so beautiful. From the Chicago rip at the beginning, where she goes around murdering Fake Louise Brooks, to the incredible dance throughout — all those beautiful men leaping and hyperextending their shoulders — and then she croaks out a mournful “My Country Tis of Thee” dirge, because Madonna has never met a hoary cliche she couldn’t beat to death with just the power of her shrill voice.

“Sometimes I want to beat myself up,” she cries. “Why did I let all that doubt into my head???” she cries. “Into my belief system? WHY?”

All this time, she’d been oppressing … herself! The call was coming from inside the house!

So Art for Freedom is about … expressing yourself, we guess.

Why don’t we learn how to express ourselves from a real master?

Yes, that’s the one.

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