I Am Mad About A Thing: A Sneak Preview

I Am Mad About A Thing: A Sneak Preview[Content Note: Welcome to the inaugural post of my new series, I Am Mad About A Thing, in which, as the most astute of readers may have surmised, I string words together to express to you, in ways that hopefully will entertain and delight you, and if not, well, go fuck yourself, I wasn’t talking to you anyway, that I Am Mad About A ThingTM. I am not even supposed to start being Mad About A Thing until I return from my vacation, but I am so Mad About A Thing that I have interrupted my vacation to be Mad About A Thing, so my second column will probably be about how mad I am about that time I interrupted my vacation to be Mad About A Thing.]

Ugh. Ewww. Arggh. Grrrr. Other onomatopoeic expressions of disgust because I Am Mad About A Thing, and it is this thing I read by Very Serious Feminist Melissa McEwan, who is a Very Serious Feminist who writes Very Serious Things about Feminism.

It starts like this:

Content Note: Policing; emotional auditing; projection; heterocentrism; disablist language; misogyny.

I don’t know about you, but I am already sooooooooo ready to be sooooooooo Mad About A Thing, and I don’t even know what the thing is yet! Let us brace ourselves for the -ists and -isms ahead:

This “Frisky Rant” in which the writer, Sara Benincasa, splutters bile at women who brag about their husbands on Facebook, is one of the most strangely hostile things I’ve read in awhile.

Wait, Sara Benincasa? Our Sara Benincasa? The delightfully delicious new editor of this here blog, who is funny and fun, is somehow guilty of writing what McEwan labels “so the worst thing you’re going to read all day,” and it is this funny and fun post called Please Stop Bragging About Your Husband On Facebook?

Oh, I Am Mad About A Thing, all right.

First of all, I am mad that McEwan — who regularly insists, on her blog and also on The Twitters, that you must never, ever co-opt another woman’s telling of her experience for your own exploitative purposes by writing about her without linking to her words, but only after you receive her explicit permission — uses a “do not link” link to link to a cross-post instead of the actual, original interweb location of Sara’s words, which are right here, you’re welcome. (And no, McEwan did not seek Sara’s permission to do-not-link link to, let alone discuss, Sara’s words about her own MyFacePlace experience.) Links and credit for thee but not for me, I guess. So feminist! Many sisterhood!

In case you missed it — and shame on you if you did, you should go read it as soon as I’m done with you — Sara wrote about those friends some of us — but not all of us! — have on the internets who are always bragging about their “hubbies” being the most bestest, and how some of us — but not all of us! — roll our eyes and wish there were a “Don’t Like” button because we are not all that impressed that your spouse “exchanged paper money for shiny baubles or, I don’t know, fixed the shower head.” Sara expressed her personal opinion about her personal observations based on personal experience, which is a thing we are supposed to applaud women for doing because an important part of feminism is encouraging women to Speak Out! and Share Our Stories! and refuse to be policed and emotionally audited (whatever the hell that means; I don’t know, and I’m pretty sure I don’t want to know).

However, all of that apparently does not apply to those women whose stories do not support the (I kid you not) 22,000-word definition of Feminism, according to McEwan. Here is Sara, policing and emotional auditing and projection-ing and heterocentrism-ing and disablist language-ing and misogyny-ing:

Ultimately, hypercompetitive wives freak me out because they are boring and empty, and boring and empty people are dangerous. They are dangerous because when they open their mouths at parties I die a little inside and fear I may pop a blood vessel from the strain of not rolling my eyes. If the most fascinating thing you’ve done in your life is get married, I am sorry for you and sad that you do not have a better and more exciting life. I recognize that it’s very nice indeed to meet the love of your life and get hitched (this is great!) but when it is the only interesting thing about you, you are not very interesting at all.

Your experience may differ, and good for you if it does. Luckily, Sara didn’t claim that she was speaking for #YesAllWomen, because really, only some kind of smug, self-righteous, narcissistic, gender-neutral asshole who thinks their understanding of the world is the only understanding that matters would do such a thing. Ahem. But to McEwan, Sara is guilty of “spluttering bile” and perpetuating a “misogynist narrative” and “needs more feminist friends” because Sara’s Facebook experience does not mirror McEwan’s Facebook experience, and is therefore bad and wrong, and Sara is bad and wrong.

Also, at least among my friends, most of the male-partnered women with whom I’m friends tend to happy share about their partners in ways that undermine, rather than reinforce, patriarchal norms. Like: He’s so great for being so supportive of my work, or he’s such a nurturing parent, etc.

Maybe Sara does need to get herself some better feminist friends who brag about their husbands in the appropriately feminist way, who don’t just say “my hubby’s so great, he changed a diaper!” but instead “my hubby’s so great, he changed a diaper — for feminism!” See the difference?

As for the claim that Sara’s post uses “disablist language,” well, I’m not sure I have words for that, so just insert eyeroll here. Unless being married is some kind of disability? (Actually, some of us — but not all of us! — who have been married might actually agree with that, so yeah, screw you, Sara Benincasa, for using words like “hubby” and “wife” and “married” and “the.”)

Anyway. The real reason I am mad — other than the obvious: I am awake, and it’s a day that ends in “y” — is because McEwan uses some pretty nasty words, or, as one might say, “splutters bile,” at Sara because she dared to write a funny-because-it’s-true-for-some-but-not-ALL-of-us observation about a thing. McEwan is world-famous in her corner of the internet for being a Very Serious Feminist (22,000 words, fer crissake!), and it sure seems like she’s engaging in exactly the sort of behavior she’s the world’s greatest champion against. (Ugh, what a horribly written sentence. See how Mad About A Thing I am? I can’t even make words good.)

If part of being a feminist means not “policing” the experience of other women, then Jesus Heterocentrist Christ, maybe McEwan should take a nice big swig of her own medicine and consider the possibility that her experience on MyFacePlace is not the definitive MyFacePlace experience, and seriously, who in the wide wide world of sports does she think she is to dictate to another woman how she should experience the internet or what kinds of friends she should have or that her reaction to something is the wrong reaction and therefore “emotional auditing”? (Yeah. Still no idea what the hell that means, but I’m pretty sure bloggess needs to heal thyself.)

Anyway, anyhoo, and whatevs. Because I have a bachelor’s degree in Women’s Studies, I know there are many different kinds of feminism, which is why I would never write 22,000 words telling you that there is One True Feminism and It Is Mine. If you want to be the kind of feminist who can’t even enjoy a good chuckle at some of the silliness of Facebook, well, knock yourself out, sister, I guess (but not in a misogynistic way that normalizes violence against women and perpetuates an oh my god, I don’t even want to finish that thought, it’s just a joke, can we please be allowed to be feminists and make jokes once in a while? Hahahaha, I am just kidding of course we can’t, DON’T BE RIDICULOSE.).

We don’t have to all agree about every damn thing in the name of Feminism or Being A Woman. However, when your whole damned raison d’être is advocating for women’s voices and not dismissing their experiences, perhaps you shouldn’t be quite so quick to dismiss a woman’s experience by summarizing it oh-so-snidely as “some women are such stupid bitches, amirite?”

Well, you may be “rite,” but Sara would never call her fellow womyn stupid bitches. She’s a lady like that.

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  • austinburns

    I Am Mad About the phrase “happy shares”.

    • sarabenincasa

      As am I.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I got talked into a Happy Shares presentation once- something about a casita in Mexico. Definitely wasn’t worth the fake gold watch they promised if you stayed until the end

    • lesterthegiantape

      Happy Shares was incredibly funny on the Sid Caesar show.

    • Virtual Cruiser

      Agreed!

    • I am showing my age here, but “happy shares” used to involve things that used to involve, er, blotting paper and helpful chemicals put together by clever friends who were chem majors.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    That’s Hedley…(shuddup, I know it was actually Taggart’s line)

  • edith prickly

    You mean Shakesville hasn’t collapsed under the weight of its own pomposity yet? I had forgotten about it until now.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’d never heard of it until now

      • edith prickly

        You ain’t missing much. Unless you enjoy self-important diatribes that sound like a parody of early ’90s womyns studeez jargon.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I just looked at the 22k “definition” of feminismHOLY SELF ABSORBED EXCESSIVE VERBOSITY, BATMAN!It took several minutes just to reply now because my eyes had rolled so far back into my skull- that’s the epitome of every bad stereotype of the feminist movement- way to validate every MRA Bubba’s cherished cliché

          • edith prickly

            needs moar trigger warnings.

          • psychobroad

            Stop, you’re killing me!!! :-)

          • My favorite thing about Melissa McEwan is trying to get donations from people on unemployment and welfare because she thinks what she does is “important feminist work”

          • psychobroad

            Prepare to be banned in 3,2,1…

          • You know H_H and the other mods are all over this thread preemptively banning.

          • content generating machine.

            :D *Waves* Hey Hallelujah Hippo! Have I told you lately what a giant, totes garbage nightmare you are?

          • She is the worst. I mean. THE WORST ONE

        • nothingisamiss

          I am seriously looking forward to reading this pomposity.

    • If you mean she’s alienated so many readers that barely anyone comments anymore… well. It’s there.

      • JMP

        Not just readers; it used to have a bunch of co-bloggers, and was more of a group blog, but almost all the others steadily left the place. I do wonder what happened behind the scenes; considering how McEwan treats any commenters who disagree with her, I’m guessing it wasn’t pretty.

        • Yeah, PD who showed up at my site didn’t even bother returning the birthday message Melissa left for her. It was kind of hilarious.

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          • Mkitty

            You know, I love mocking shakesville and MM as much as any permabanned former reader, but I have to jump in here with a bit of a scold (don’t take it too personally, no biggie, grownups can disagree)- watching those poor farks tuck their tails and beg for scraps of approval isn’t hilarious at all, it’s a goddamned travesty

        • You’re absolutely right: it wasn’t pretty. Signed, a former co-blogger from Long Ago.

          • zuzu

            Yes.Signed, another co-blogger from long ago.

          • I’ll be honest. I’m dying with curiosity but understand if ya’all don’t want to tell.

    • psychobroad

      You, madam, win the internets for today. That is all.

    • it has very few commenters anymore. I dunno about page views.

  • LarryHoudini

    Well I am mad that Sara didn’t get to defend herself first. This makes her look like she’s hiding behind a coworker.BTW, I liked that Facebook post. Or, I should say, that post about Facebook.

    • sarabenincasa

      I’m not hiding behind her! I fucking love what she wrote.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        which her?

      • LarryHoudini

        I agree with what she said. I’m not accusing you of hiding behind her. I’m just saying that when she comes to your defense before you have responded yourself, that’s what it looks like.

        • sarabenincasa

          I understand.

          • lesterthegiantape

            No you don’t, or you wouldn’t use heterocisnormative othering terms like ‘I’. The preferred usage is ‘Y’, which is even more gender-nondependent. Pull yourself together, womyn.

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          • Jaime Oria

            CN: male privilege / crass heteronormativity / fonts / giant stone heads Didja ever notice how an upper-case ‘Y’ looks like a woman’s crotch?

          • Virtual Cruiser

            I think I disagree. I saw the Twitter exchange in which Editrix said ‘Why not let Kaili do it for you?’, and using that kind of attack on Our Hero to create a new feature is a great idea. Besides It’s not as though McEwan let our Miss B defend herself; and, I read this less as a defence that a return attack — I think Sara (may I call you Sara?) having to defend herself might be less fun or interesting, as she has more at stake, you know? I could be wrong, that’s just my two cents here.Also – I missed the original post — I read it as commanded before continuing above, and laughed myself silly. Thank you.

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          • nothingisamiss

            Amen. Having friends that bite back on my behalf has given me strength in dismal times.

          • LarryHoudini

            Maybe it’s a 40-something guy thing. But I am still a Sara Benincasa fan.

  • I didn’t actually make it past the first three words of McEwan’s article after noticing her passive-aggressive use of “do not link dot com”.

  • tegrat

    “He’s so great for being so supportive of my work” – MAN, THAT IS ONE AWESOME DUDE! Point, set, and match, Benincasa!

  • You know who else wrote 22,000 words telling you about the One True Something or Other and it is Mine?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      J. R. R. Tolkien?

    • edith prickly

      Ayn Rand?

    • BlueMonkey

      my youngest kid when he was 3? no, that wasn’t words – that was a big dump next to the toilet. nevermind.

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    • SullivanSt

      That kind of behavior is so Kampf.

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  • I feel like you’re really eliding her experience right now.

    • DonnaL

      Profoundly.

  • psychobroad

    Had to stop reading Shakesville completely. McEwan banned me for life for pointing out that she linked to herself without attribution. Yes, I know Wonkette & HNTP do that all the time, but at some point I feel like I was told that’s how it worked at these sites.

    • She recycles content sfm.

    • I wonder how many people they have banned? It seems like its probably more than have actually commented.

  • This article is freaking hilarious, I’m glad someone is giving MM the seriousness her pretentious bullshit deserves. I can guarantee that no one, ever, has read all the Required Reading before commenting. If you think a 22,000 word definition of feminism is too much you should go look at the months of reading you need to endure before you can comment on her pet pictures in the ‘advanced feminist space’ that is shakesville.

    • God help you if you don’t read that pile of garbage though. Banned in 2 seconds. ADVANCED FEMINIST SPACE.

      • speaking of garbage, you’re gonna read the word “garbage” thousands of times in all that Required Reading because its literally one of the only insults you can use without offending someone so MM says it constantly.

        • According to Google: About 7,380 results

        • lesterthegiantape

          rubbish

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          • nothingisamiss

            I feel that “stepped in it” is a pretentious anti-dog shit epithet. I shit where I shit, and feel that this bias of treating “stepping in it” as a form of negative expression cannot go unmentioned.

        • JMP

          When I made the mistake of commenting there long ago, I got dog-piled for using “lame” as an insult. Apparently that’s ableist language, even though it’s not 1890 and even my grandparents were too young to have used “lame” to mean “disabled”.

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  • automaticpilot

    And now I, too, am Mad About a Thing.

  • goonemeritus

    I am confident that this open declaration of war by a competingblog will be met. And when I say met I mean with all the savagery and viciousness that has made the Wonkette Empire feared the world over. But since after all we are the Happy Nice imprint of the empire we probably should smile while we salt their fields and burn their villages.

    • OldPolarBear

      Don’t you burn before you salt?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Rape, murder, arson and rapeYou said rape twiceI like rape

        • Brendan_M

          They’d probably love that joke over there. Give it a try.

          • rebecca

            Even as delightful as this thread is, this was the first time I laughed out loud like a hyena (lollah, rhymes with holla). Well played friend.

          • Brendan_M

            It actually is a great joke, but context is a significant factor in its success.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      so you’re saying nuke ’em from orbit?

    • SullivanSt

      It’s a “safe space” over there, so I doubt we’d get many comments past moderation. I’m not sure I want to know about their DCOTD equivalent if they have one, I don’t see much chance of them having the sense of humor our Dok Zoom brings to it.

    • Brazilian Fart Porn

      Bless her little heart!

    • DemmeFatale

      It makes me sad when someone doesn’t “get” our Sara.(And thanks to McEwan for reinforcing that humorless feminist stereotype.)

  • Deleted

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    • hexmachine

      this^^*ducks*

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      This

      • Seconded

        • JMP

          This post was deleted.

          • mfp

            This post was deleted.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Ditto

      • WA Bishop

        This post was deleted.

      • nothingisamiss

        This post was deleted.

      • DemmeFatale

        Really.

    • edith prickly

      SMH

    • JMP

      Along with the use of “zie/zir” as gender-neutral pronouns. Um, what’s wrong with just using “they/their” in that situation?

      • pookapooka

        Uhhhrmm ’cause the z’s are the Wave of the Future. I know cause my friend wrote a song called “Zis Place Is Groovy” and he’s not even German.

      • Nick Jorgensen

        Hail zie/zir!

    • OldPolarBear

      word

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        • Zippy W Pinhead

          upworthy should be banned from the interweb- so obnoxious.

      • Yes.ETA: Yessity yes, yes, yes.

    • 1moreRobot

      Co-signed.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Good for you, child, or Right On, as we said back at the dawn of time. We old crone feminists went through all this nonsense back in the 1960s and 1970s. Everything old is new again, I guess, including the tedious affectation of being feministier-than-thou. With the rest of the world determined to limit women one way or another, it seems foolish and time-wasting when women insist (righteously, of course, and with gobs of those good intentions with which the road to hell is paved) on limiting each other.

    • automaticpilot

      I love the phrase “tedious affectation of being feministier-than-thou”!

    • sarabenincasa

      Thank you!

      • nothingisamiss

        Soooo love you, sarabenincasa.Love,A fangirl.

        • sarabenincasa

          Awww you sweet

    • JaaaaaCeeeee

      more pungently described sometimes as turkeys, whose pecks never rise to viciousness, just vain and silly derp competition.

    • marindenver

      My thoughts exactly. I read Shakesville some several years back but got very turned off by their Our Way or the Highway version of what TRUE feminism means. You go Kaili Joy and Sara! You remind me of my daughters and totally in a GREAT way.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    This is why we haven’t had a sideboob post in nearly a weekTHANKS MELISSA!!1!

  • willi0000000

    son of a . . .

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      • willi0000000

        ok ok . . . plase insert a [my ears are ringing over here]

  • borninatrailer

    Would that be a good place for me to go and talk about porn?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      like there’s such a thing as a bad place

  • PlanetOfTheSnapes

    Nice use of “Ahem”!

  • SullivanSt

    What I find quite entertaining is the extent to which McEwan failed at reading comprehension – Sara of course wasn’t ranting against people saying their husband was awesome only people saying their husband was the best for reason that actually applies equally to most husbands.For what it’s worth, most of the “my husband is the best” posts that I’ve seen of Facebook came from a family member whose marriage was already on the rocks, and is now all over but the arguing over who gets what. I suspect she was trying to get herself in the right mindset for her attempt to keep the marriage together, but they were some awkward posts to read when you knew it was such a front.

    • JMP

      Also, do people who make “my husband is the best” posts realize that it’s actually kind of insulting to your friends, since it implies to any other married women (or gay men) that their husbands are not as good as yours?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I assumed that was the whole point

      • mb561

        I think they do… because they need to feel superior. As if love/relationships is a zero-sum game.

      • natoslug

        As long as I have my #1 Husband coffee mug, I know all those women out there are lying about their husbands.

    • Coiltesla

      Speaking of reading comprehension – most people who post that something is “the best” are obviously being self-consciously hyperbolic, not meaning it literally. Acting like someone genuinely means it and responding with “If the most fascinating thing you’ve done in your life is get married, I am sorry for you and sad that you do not have a better and more exciting life.” seems comes off as creepy and bitter, not funny. It’s scolding someone for something they aren’t doing, which brings up the question, why are you so incredibly mad at married women for using the word “best”?McEwan’s critique was carefully worded and pretty thoughtful. My first thought was “did a married woman kill Sara’s dog? she’s got issues” . If you are going to post something yelling at an entire group of people and calling them empty for doing wrong, you need really good funny curmudgeon skills, including self-awareness. Merely saying ” I feel like some sort of lady Andy Rooney” does not make it work. It inspires me to say, “Well, you come off more like some lady Post-9/11 Dennis Miller”.

      • CamasBlues

        AH HAHAHA! Self-awareness. Some is certainly necessary, but you are seeing the lack in wrong places.The other article was snark, while McEwan was trying to treat it as some sort of Sober Analysis That Must Be Challenged. Carefully worded and thoughtful? I think not.

  • pookapooka

    Thankyouthankyouthankyou for at last divulging the answer to one my Eternally Vexing Mysteries: What does the H in “Jesus H Christ” stand for?

  • content generating machine.

    (Content Note: birthday celebration, holidays) This is an awesome post. It’s like my birthday, July 4th, Christmas and Flag Day all came early!

    • anony.ms

      And just in time for National Emotional Auditing Month! (Which, IIRC, has a vomit colored ribbon).

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      • content generating machine.

        Oh looks like we have an ex Shaker here folks! :D

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          • content generating machine.

            You are good.

  • anony.ms

    Loved this! Funny and smart and so well written.

  • MyLovelyNose

    So what are women going to brag about? Their CHILDREN?

    • nothingisamiss

      Amirite?

  • hvdv

    The term “happy sharing” makes me very sad. Thought I’d share.

  • content generating machine.

    By the way: did anyone see how Hallelujah_Hippo and Melissa McEwan clamped down on Wondering? *That* is classic Shakesvile for you.ETA http://www.shakesville.com/2014/06/damn.html#comment-1455881551

  • How long have you got? Oh, sorry–CN: time pressure, or else inappropriate reference to size.I’m a 53-year-old woman who stays in touch with rather a lot of college pals via the dread FB machine. Meaning, I see more than my share (or anyone’s share, really) of “OMG my husband is the awesomest ever!” posts in my feed. I would hate to think my occasional cynicism–which I totally keep to myself, I swear!–makes me a Bad, Other-People-Policing Non-Feminist, because I am actually the opposite of that. I strongly believe that if someone’s actions make her happy–or at least engender a sense of solidarity and relieve her of the feeling that she’s alone in this world–she should go ahead with her bad, braggy self, knowing full well that some of her ex-drinking pals might be rolling our eyes to the point of headache-inducement. The husband-bragging and baby-bragging brings joy to people’s mothers and mothers-in-law, even as it causes justified eye-rolling.It’s Face fucking Book. It’s all good. MM is, as usual, attempting to define Good Feminists (her, a few of her acolytes) and Bad Feminists (everyone else). Because Cult.

    • zuzu

      Fancy meeting you here, Deborah!

      • anony.ms

        zuzu! your name came up over at shakesville koolaid last week (it was positive — people wondering where you’d gone, that kind of thing).

        • zuzu

          Hi! I went to California. And I’m staying far the fuck away from blogging. And Shakesville.

          • CamasBlues

            Hi fellow denizen of CA! I used to read you back in the day!! Well I can’t say as I blame you for staying away from bloggin’ & SV. Life’s too short to not find the good things in life and enjoy. Hope you’re doing well –

      • Zuzu! How the hell are you?

  • flawedplan

    Shakesville makes such a burlesque of the good and true, but I have enough in common with them to start thinking maybe I should think of Shakers as my people. The fact that I can’t get through a single post is all it takes to straighten my wig out.

  • Ulricii

    You obviously are having a post-traumatic stress flash-back stemming from the Jew for Jesus pamphlet thrust in your face. Next time explain politely to the thruster that Jews for Jesus is a contradiction in terms. Then thrust it right back. I leave it to you to pick the orifice of reception. I trust your judgement on that.

  • nothingisamiss

    Yay, Kali!

  • Sheket Bevaka Shut The Hell Up

    Content note: Melissa McEwanI unsubscribed from Shakesville a few years ago, after realizing that I spent more time mocking the site/Melissa McEwan than I did reading the damn thing. I’m so delighted to see people agree with me, and delighted to hear that it’s finally falling apart, crushed by its (her) own self-righteousness.

  • BloviateMe

    Damned feminazis. What? I thought we were in the trust tree…in the nest…

    • BloviateMe

      How come I can’t downfist myself? That’s irritating.

      • Rick Hill

        I think fisting requires a lot of flexibility.

  • remember that time Melissa McEwan watched “brave” and then wrote some bullshit narrative about ginger people being oppressed by the movie, then people from Scotland told her she was wrong and she ignored them all? Gooood times

    • misteriousveiwerwoman

      She didn,t even watch the movie!

    • Never forget the racism against Scots times.

  • Draco

    Mirror, mirror, Happy, Shakesville, who’s the feminaziest of them all?

  • misteriousveiwerwoman

    Genius, any body making fun of Lis is a instnant fave!

  • I was wondering how long it would be until mah Wonkette/Happy Nice Time crossed paths with the Hive Mother of Social Justice Warriors.I was actually a regular reader of Skakesville quite some time before it got a reputation as a blogger cult (which is seriously how even people more sympathetic to Melissa’s ideology than me put it). I still remember her bashing some movie for having a rape joke and me pointing out in the comments that she expressed that she was a fan of John Waters and Pink Flamingos (which has an entire subplot about women imprisoned in a basement and forcibly impregnated). Melissa just went well yeah but he apologized about that (which as a Waters buff myself I can say with 95% certainty isn’t true). I stopped reading her blog after that and it kind of started me on my anti-social justice path, for which I suppose I should be grateful.

  • Angelike

    I all my active years on the internets as a blog reader (dating myself – one of the earliest readers of blogs, starting around 2000 – eeek! I’m old!), I don’t think I’ve ever posted a comment on a site, but I posted one on their site in support of Sara. I welcome her voice to this site, one of my daily reads, and I think she shouldn’t be shut down — especially by other ladies. I’ll say it in all caps to make it clear: I LOVE YOU, WONKETTE!

  • Jurgan

    This is glorious!

  • Rick Hill

    I’m not angry but it’s early and all those words made my head hurt. Let me see if I get this straight: Mcewen is angry because she is a feminist who thinks it’s great that some women want to make their husbands sammiches all day because he is a great strong superman in their life and someone said different.?

    • It’s more like “McEwan is angry because she posts about how great her Scots husband is all the time and is taking a post from a totally unrelated site personally because that’s what she does.”

      • Arcturus

        Perfectly succinct, nailed it.

  • content generating machine.

    Now I remember you Kaili Joy Grey. The Daily Kos! I thought you were a former Shakesvile reader.

  • cambridge02140

    I’ve been told it’s best to marry a girl who has a brother-in-law that’s a lazy bum.If you marry a girl who’s BIL is a Nobel Prize winner, you’re never gonna hear the end of it!

  • Paul J

    What does Camille Paglia think about all this?

  • Coiltesla

    Wow. Sara – your editor – posted a very dilomatic response on Shakesville welcoming yet disputing the criticism and invited readers to try out this blog. And the top post is a hyperdefensive, thin-skinned tantrum that someone dared to criticize her piece.Happy Nice Time People and other surly blogs I love criticize rants which aren’t as funny, insightful or relatable as they think they are. Y’all point out the issues beneath those failed rants. Of course, it’s usually dudes or right wing types (if Sara’s rant had been posted by dude, I’m sure you’d have no problem pointing out it’s issues).So suck it up for a moment and get past this “with us or against us” stuff and admit sometimes “funny” rants aren’t. When it fails, people wonder about yelling at women for doing something “wrong” and calling them shallow liars who have no life and will soon be divorced. Scolding invites, even demands, disagreement from the gentle (which Shakesville was) to “what climbed up your butt and made you the boss”? To get butthurt and yell “NO YOU” seems weak and dumb. This post is so genuinely anger it makes one wonder Happy Nice Time has gotten as unaware as the groups it was meant to mock.

    • marindenver

      Anyone who thinks McEwan’s piece was “gentle” didn’t read it very carefully. Phrases like “splutters bile at women”, “strangely hostile” and “aggressively contemptuous” just don’t strike a gentle note to me. And, yes, Kaili Joy’s piece is also a critique on McEwan’s insistence that her definition and only her definition of feminism is the right one (sort of “with us or against us?” Hmmm?). Some of us just don’t agree with that.

      • Coiltesla

        Where does McEwan say her definition of feminism is the only one? It’s funny how quickly one resorts to the same strawfeminist arguments one might find on an MRA reddit.

        • Poor little Shaker all sad their loving leader is being criticized. Just 6 more weeks until the next donation post!

        • marindenver

          Oh sorry. I just assumed you actually read Shakesville and the comments now and then.

    • Arcturus

      What a delusional post. Your web of “I know they know I know that they know” is so intricate that it’s clear you don’t know what you’re trying to say. Bravo.

  • marindenver

    This is one of the bestest thread I’ve ever read on the internets. Right up there with one of Roy’s on a good day.

  • Coiltesla

    “but Sara would never call her fellow womyn stupid bitches.” She does call them “psycho hose beasts” and the point is not that she used *those exact words* but her post used that sort of “women, amirite?” attitude, like from Whitney Cummings on a particularly desperate day/

    • marindenver

      You’re just trolling now honey.

      • Actually, I disagree. While I think that McEwan overshot in her assessment, Sara DID use that term. And I kind of disagree with her a lot on it: she’s basically telling women to edit themselves and knock it off with the relationship bragging, she’s judging them to be empty and dull and she’s telling them to just shut up until their anniversary. I understand that Sara’s was meant to be a rant and therefore a little over the top. But suggesting that people are happy with their husbands or who brag on their husbands are somehow empty or dull takes me aback a little. I guess my FB feed isn’t filled with “back off, ladies, he’s mine” type posts she describes, but occasionally I see the “my husband did something really great today and I’m thankful for him” or “my wife is really awesome when she recognizes when I need a break” and in a world where I hear women constantly complaining and talking bad about their partners, it’s kind of nice to see.

  • Akira Bear

    Everybody over there seems to have a terminal case of “The Shoulds.” They all know what other people SHOULD have said. Or thought. Or did. And they’re such a humorless bunch!

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  • farfalla

    God bless you.

  • OhNoes234

    Wait. I could be wrong, but isn’t MM’s anti-Sara post policing her?? So MM is now the “policing” police?