Lindsay Lohan Wakes Up, Wants Attention, Files Lawsuit

Lindsay Lohan Wakes Up, Wants Attention, Files Lawsuit

Remember Lindsay Lohan? Of course you do! She was in Mean Girls, and that movie was amazing. Here’s the thing, though: Mean Girls came out ten years ago, don’t you feel super-old? And while the Mean Girls-era Lohan was indeed super sexxxy, Lindsay hath wasted time (mostly getting wasted), and time hath wasted her.

So the other day, Lindsay woke up and heard about this new video game, Grand Theft Auto V, which came out last September, whatever, she was probably busy with her reality show. And remember how Grand Theft Auto V has that blonde bombshell type on the cover, the one whut everyone said was totes Kate Upton except for it was actually a different attractive blonde woman instead? NUH UH, says La Lohan, THAT’S ME, AND I WANT SOME OF THAT INTERNET MONEY, GUY.

Lohan charges video game maker Take-Two Interactive Software Inc. swiped her image to create its ditzy Lacey Kunis character without her knowledge or permission.

“The portraits of the Plaintiff (Lohan) incorporated her image, likeness, clothing, outfits, Plaintiff’s clothing line products, ensemble in the form of hats, hair style, sunglasses, jean shorts worn by the Plaintiff that were for sale to the public at least two years” before the game was released, the papers say.

Honest question, Lindz: why did you wait to file this lawsuit until now? We get it, you need to find some reason to stay in the spotlight, some new grift to cover your massive debts — but why now? You would have gotten so much more publicity back when everyone was still talking about that GTA mission where you have to torture some guy.

We are trying to come up with a more plausible scenario than the one posited in our headline, but we just can’t do it. Terrible ones, can you help us out in the comments?

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