Let Happy Help You Make The Best Peanut Butter Cookies (In The History of Ever)

Let Happy Help You Make The Best Peanut Butter Cookies (In The History of Ever)

Have you ever fallen for a recipe going around Facebook? I have, usually about once a year. Some are good (an entire chicken wrapped in bacon), and the rest are bad variations of canned mushroom soup and waffle mix. It’s fun to go through the bad recipes sometimes, because those are a thrill ride through over-hydrogenated American speed cooking. The main dish (or dessert) requires a box, a can, and a bag of something. It will set or bake in thirty minutes, and does everything but shoot the insulin for you from a t-shirt gun. With leftovers for lunch.

The other day I was checking my newsfeed and up pops “World’s Best Peanut Butter Cookies.” Right away I was expecting to find some kind of food crime, and that the secret ingredients could have me on Lipitor by morning (with all eighteen side effects by lunchtime). Then I started reading the cookie recipe. They used cake mix. Smack my mouth – this was crazy enough to work!

Without shame, I am telling you: Cake mix cookies made me stop buying soft-batch cookies forever.

You will have almost everything you need to make these cookies on hand right now, except for the box of cake mix. I selected the top of the line mix; something called “Buttery Yellow Super Moist” for a whopping $2.39. That is nothing! Thank God I worked in restaurants when I was young and poor (half price food), or I would have been living on ramen and cake mix.

The list of cookie ingredients is coming right up. I just want to take a moment and tell you that I played with the Facebook recipe. It was the right thing to do, and I recommend it highly.

2 eggs
1/4 c. dark brown sugar (or more taste)
1 c. all-natural peanut butter, creamy
1 heaping tbsp. all-natural peanut butter, crunchy
1/4 c. coconut oil, melted but not hot (vegetable oil, in a pinch)
2-3 tbs. water, lukewarm
1 box yellow cake mix, super moist whatever
Turbinado (or raw) sugar, for dipping
Couple handfuls of semi-sweet chocolate morsels, optional

Do you have a hand mixer? Ok, good – get that out. Heat the oven to 375°. Break out a cookie sheet.

Crack two large eggs in a really big mixing bowl. Add the sugar and mix until smooth. Do you have enough brown sugar? I pinky-tasted mine. You better call the raw egg cops, because I’m still standing. It’s a good thing I checked, because I added a tsp. of sugar.

Add the peanut butter and melted coconut oil, and mix it some more. Add the cake mix and water, and mix until well blended. Use a low speed, or you will have batter flying everywhere.

Add in the cake mix. Keep the bowl moving and scrape down the edges until you have a mound of oily, peanut butter-y clay. If it seems crumbly, add one tbsp. of water. If you feel like you need some chocolate in your life, fold in the morsels by hand. Please always use fair trade chocolate, so we can make Big Chocolate end child labor. Nothing is going to taste good if an eight-year old had to climb up a cocoa tree with a machete.

With a teaspoon, scoop up some cookie dough and form them into balls. Dip the top in sugar and set on a cookie sheet. Mash them down with a fork, one after the other.

Bake for 8-14 minutes. Eight minutes will give you cookies that are still kind of doughy, and some people like that. Closer to fourteen minutes will deliver something chewier but still soft. You can hold it in your hand to eat, or give it to someone who totally deserves a cookie. I think you totally deserve a cookie.

I made about 20 cookies, because I scooped up big, American teaspoons of dough. Maybe you have more self-restraint than I do and can swing a full two-dozen. My way? Half peanut butter plain, half with chocolate. As soon as they were cool I put half of each in the freezer because these things are going to buy me favors in the future. They are that amazing.

Did you see that photo at the top of the page? The cookies were still warm when I put them on a plate and poured a glass of whole milk. I almost wept for the poor little allergic kids who can’t even LOOK at a peanut without an EpiPen. Sorry kids, more for me.

Make these cookies. You are welcome!

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