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Fox Martin Luther King

FOX News would like black people more if they were better at it. Fortunately, FOX has tips to show you people how to black properly. Today’s lesson is how to honor the memory and message of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., especially in light of all this unpleasantness taking place in Missouri.

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Step one, remember that Rev. King was pretty much Ronald Reagan with a mustache. He understood that “freedom fighter” is a figurative term (except in Nicaragua). Taking physical action in the cause of freedom or civil rights is unnecessary and more than a little unseemly. When you’re upset by the goings-on in the world at large, please consider writing a letter to the editor rather than sitting down in the middle of a street all day, which, if we’re going to be honest, makes you look like you might be unemployed. And no one wants to perpetuate that stereotype, do they?

Step two, be sure to put Rev. King’s message in its proper context, which is the 1960s, which is the past. We, on the other hand, live in the future! Sure, it’s pleasant every now and then to think of how poignant and inspirational his words were during those troubled times when people might outright call for segregation and banning interracial marriages and assigned seating arrangements on public transportation, but that sad period in our nation’s history started with FDR’s New Deal and ended with Ronald Reagan’s Morning in America. The past is the past. Let’s keep it a pleasant memory.

That’s all there is to it! Now go out there and remember how lucky you are to live in the glorious age of American Exceptionalism/nightmarish era of communist Muslim atheist tyranny.

h/t Gary Legum

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