Lady That Works For Google Pretty Sure Google Should Be President Instead Of Obama

Lady That Works For Google Pretty Sure Google Should Be President Instead Of Obama

We love Obama, but the White House petition is the worst. It gives a platform to people who previously would have been left muttering on message boards. Right now, the award for dumbest petition goes to Justine Tunney, who is calling on the President to step down so Google can run the country.


I have the utmost respect for you Sir. America is a great country and you’ve worked hard to bring its affairs in order. But I’m afraid you’re fighting a battle that can’t be won. The Washington regime has become incompetent over the years. It is no longer able to face the difficult challenges that lay ahead. I think it’s time for a peaceful change.

I implore you to call a national referendum to do the following:

1. Retire all government employees with full pensions.

2. Transfer administrative authority to the tech industry.

3. Appoint Eric Schmidt CEO of America.

Why NOT let corporations run the country? It will bring us ever closer to the dystopian futures of one million science fiction novels where we all live in corporate compounds and slave away to make widgets, virtual or otherwise.

Mercifully, this thing only has a whopping 24 signatures, but we were still curious about what kind of genius had come up with this plan, and haha of course it is someone who is both an Occupy organizer AND a Google engineer because those things ARE TOO totally compatible.

Justine Tunney, a self-styled “champagne tranarchist”, is now a software engineer at Google, but remains involved with Occupy Wall Street, through the website, which she created.

“Champagne tranarchist” beats out “thought leader” for the dumbest phrase of all time, hands down. One made up word, and a modifier alcohol-related word that makes no sense in that context! We are now Miller High Life blogarchistanians, thank you very much.

People have tried to point out to Ms. Tunney that the whole anti-capitalist bent isn’t really all that compatible with loving Google so hard, but she has an answer for that, haterzzz.

Explaining on Twitter why she thinks anti-capitalism is compatible with promotion of her employers, she argued that “Tech companies expropriate ad money from capitalists to build a superintelligence & don’t pay dividends!”

That makes about as much sense to us as “champagne tranarchist.”

Don’t get us wrong. We’re not entirely hostile to this idea. If we could replace the House GOP with Google, we might be OK with that. But let’s be honest: if we could replace the House GOP with a panda bear, or a desk fan, or or a shoebox, we’d be down with that too, so it’s a low bar.

Rise up and stay strong, Occupy Google lady.

[The Guardian/White House Petitions]

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