Kim Kardashian’s Book Bombs

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With photos of the reclusive Kim Kardashian so hard to come by, it’s easy to understand why reality TV’s most famous shrinking violet thought she’d be able squirrel away a buck or two for little North’s education with a 350-page hardback book of selfies called Selfish.

“Kim has mastered the art of taking flattering and higher personal photos of oneself,” says Selfish’s Amazon page. How did the poor thing overcome her crippling body image or her fierce sense of privacy? The question goes unanswered, as does the more existential/semantic quandary raised by the website’s claim that Kim is the “modern-day personification of Marilyn Monroe.” How does one personify a person? Can you objectify an object? Can you quiet silence? These are things that I’m going to lie awake thinking about tonight.

Kim Kardashian's Book Bombs

Sadly for Kim, and reassuringly for humanity, a mere 32,000 people worldwide have purchased the book, which has a list price of $19.95 but is now being dumped by desperate retailers for $9.97 or less. The rather aggressive marketing campaign undoubtedly cost more than the book will generate.

Fortunately, there’s free entertainment in the Amazon review section:

Most helpful critical review

See all 568 critical reviews

One Star

By J. Cheever Loophole on June 2, 2015

They should perfume the pages so blind people can hate it, too.

 

Most helpful positive review

See all 210 positive reviews

Kim Kardashian cannot sell fish

By GuppyLover on May 20, 2015

I bought this book because I wanted to go into the tropical fish business. I really thought this would be an instructional guide to Sell Fish. The woman with the trout face really threw me off. Apparently this book is actually about selling melons as I can now see from the cover photo. Buyer beware.

 

Other reviews include:

I will never buy this and if I see a copy in any of my friends possession, it will end our friendship.

I’ll wait for the audio book.

My own door hit me in the face for using this book as a door stopper.

My public defender advised that I buy this book in order to help support my insanity plea.

I’m not an advocate for book burnings, but with this one, I’ll make an exception.

 

Of course there’s no shortage of racism, woman bashing, and slut shaming in the comments as well, so enter at your own risk. There are few positive reviews as well, like this next one, which was in no way written by a publicist, why would you even think that?

I follow Kim Kardashian on Instagram so when I found out that she was releasing a selfie book I knew I had to buy it. Kim is a smart business women and one of my favorite celebrities to follow and keep up with. This selfie book allows us to see some of her favorite selfie’s/ getting to see her with family and friends in a more natural way.

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