Jul 29, 2020
Kim Kardashian: Superstar (The Clean Version) (2007) (part 2 of 5)
But first, Vivid Video wants you to know they care about your health. A full screen of text, which lasts perhaps a tenth of a second, instructs us to “follow the Surgeon General’s guidelines for safe sex”, which are “the use of a condom combined with a selective choice of sexual partners.” So, basically, everything you’re about to see in this video? Do the exact opposite. Because if you’re having sex with Kim Kardashian without a condom, you can’t be that selective.
The “opening credits”, for lack of a better term, flash words at us like “uncut!” and “unedited!” Look, guys, I already paid for the video. You don’t need to keep up the hard sell.
To random generic porno music, there’s a montage of all the “unbelievable!” footage this video holds in store for us. Including the “unbelievable!” sight of Kim doing a tequila shot.