Kim Kardashian: Superstar (The Clean Version) (2007) (part 2 of 5)

But first, Vivid Video wants you to know they care about your health. A full screen of text, which lasts perhaps a tenth of a second, instructs us to “follow the Surgeon General’s guidelines for safe sex”, which are “the use of a condom combined with a selective choice of sexual partners.” So, basically, everything you’re about to see in this video? Do the exact opposite. Because if you’re having sex with Kim Kardashian without a condom, you can’t be that selective.

The “opening credits”, for lack of a better term, flash words at us like “uncut!” and “unedited!” Look, guys, I already paid for the video. You don’t need to keep up the hard sell.

To random generic porno music, there’s a montage of all the “unbelievable!” footage this video holds in store for us. Including the “unbelievable!” sight of Kim doing a tequila shot.

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Multi-Part Article: Kim Kardashian: Superstar (The Clean Version) (2007)

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