Keith Ablow will make you want to literally throw up

Keith Ablow will make you want to literally throw up

Literal scumbag Dr. Keith Ablow is literally calling on white Americans to literally disembowel U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder and literally feed his entrails to literal mountain lions.

Figuratively speaking, of course.

His actual words:

“And here’s Eric Holder, reprehensible, a dismissible human in terms of his job description, he can’t do his job, who literally goes there and says, ‘No, we are separate and you can’t trust the Caucasians.’ Unbelievable.”

Dr. Ablow can literally go a-blow a hundred dicks, because that’s not even close to what Holder literally said.

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“I understand that mistrust. I am the Attorney General of the United States. But I am also a black man. I can remember being stopped on the New Jersey turnpike on two occasions and accused of speeding. Pulled over…. ‘Let me search your car’… Go through the trunk of my car, look under the seats and all this kind of stuff. I remember how humiliating that was and how angry I was and the impact it had on me.”

Of course, Dr. Ablow is famous for saying stupid things, sometimes related to his alleged expertise in psychology, often not. Where does this one rank on the all-time list? That’s actually a harder question to answer than it might seem on the surface.

Ablow has denied the existence of legitimately transgender individuals. He’s equated adoption with sociopathy. He’s disparaged so many groups of people as being psychologically damaged that how do you determine which comment is the worst?

I can’t do it. So I’m setting aside all the Ablow-isms that are stupid in a horrific, infuriating, and outright dangerous way… and instead I’ve developed a list of his most hilariously and transparently wrong statements over the years.

Here’s the top five:

#5           Obama = Flight Risk

“He wants out of America, my friend. Trust me.”

 

#4       Joe Biden = Crazy Old Coot

“I did not evaluate Joe Biden, but if someone said to me, we want you to do what’s really required to know what happened [at the V.P. debate against Paul Ryan], you have to put dementia on the differential diagnosis.”

 

#3           Michelle Obama = Big Fat Fatty (Probably By Choice)

“I know from the images online that she has struggled with her weight or chosen — or chosen to be much heavier than at other points in the administration. Maybe she’s chosen it. You’re saying how do I know she’s struggled. Maybe she didn’t struggle. Maybe she chose to be a larger woman.”

 

#2           Cheating = Passion & Charisma = Great President

“Three women have met Mr. Gingrich and been so moved by his emotional energy and intellect that they decided they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with him … Two of these women felt this way even though Mr. Gingrich was already married … Conclusion: When three women want to sign on for life with a man who is now running for president, I worry more about whether we’ll be clamoring for a third Gingrich term, not whether we’ll want to let him go after one.”

 

1.            Marriage = 3 Men + 1 House Pet 

“There’s no way that the state of California can deny a marriage license to four spouses now. Eight spouses, or I would say three human spouses and the canine they absolutely love because if love is the foundation of marriage, they can love their dog, too.”

 

So where do you think Ablow’s latest verbal atrocity belongs on this list?

(I’m thinking #2. Nothing, nothing, beats that “three human spouses and a canine” bit. Cracks me up every time.)

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