Kanye West’s New Video Is Exactly What Happens When Your Friends Fail To Tell You Something Is A Bad Idea


So Kanye decided to go on Ellen, because that is where you go when you go H.A.M.*, for real, to debut his new video for Bound 2, one of the way-weakest songs on “Yeezus.” No disrespect for the Ellen Show, in fact mad love for the Ellen show, but it was a pretty odd choice given the video, which is a green screen stock footage PG-13 nudie travesty.


Let’s roll the tape, shall we?

Urmm. There’s horses. But they’re horses from one of those paintings your grandma kept behind the sofa, except they’re actually moving. Why are there horses, you guys?


Now Kanye is riding his motorcycle wearing a tie-dyed t-shirt we all had in high school, except he’s riding against some sort of greenscreen landscape and it looks like those old movies where they’re “driving” and the same scenery loops and loops.


Kanye appears to be wearing at least three different plaid shirts.

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Now we’re in a fake forest instead of fake mountains and Kanye is lit like he is Jesus.

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This is the uncensored version. Where are the uncensored things???? Is it this sideboob of Kim Kardashian riding Kanye and Kanye’s bike? BO-RING.


There’s slightly more boobage as time goes on, but you’ll have to watch the vid to see that because we are a family blog and aren’t going to screenshot boobies for you, pervs.

Verdict: Kanye is in desperate need of people that will tell him “no.” Also, we never want to watch this again.

*Hard As a Motherfucker, Oldz. Come on now.

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