Watch Jon Stewart’s Epic Rant Against SCOTUS’s Campaign Money Decision (Video)

Jon Stewart is pretty good at distilling the absurdity of certain political events into a just few words. Granted, a lot of them need to be bleeped, but with this week’s Supreme Court decision tossing out aggregate limits on campaign donations, there’s plenty to curse about. Now that wealthy donors can write checks for the maximum allowable amount to as many candidates as they want, Stewart says, “the last great hope of preserving our democracy from the corrupting influence of money is carpal tunnel syndrome.” Thank goodness, America is “finally rid of the corrosive influence of not enough money in politics.”


It’s a classic Stewart rant, and it gets at the absurdity of equating money with free speech, instead of the really nutty idea of treating money as money. He’s so angry that he can’t even respond to a Mitch McConnell clip with “the turtle voice.”

In the second part of the piece, Stewart has an actual example of the influence of cash — last weekend’s “Adelson primary,” in which “A pack of Republican presidential hopefuls just flew all the way to Las Vegas just to kiss the scooter-riding ass of one 80-year-old billionaire.” We aren’t sure Stewart has the best example of Adelson’s influence — Chris Christie apologizing for saying the dreaded term “occupied territories” — because he might as well have gone with the actual legislation to limit online gambling that Adelson’s buying. Yes, we know — it’s not a quid pro quo — it’s merely “access.” And now, if he wants, Sheldon Adelson can have “access” to every single member of Congress if he wants it.

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