Jon Stewart: Bill O’Reilly Is Drunk In Love With Beyonce (Video)

You have to give Jon Stewart credit for honesty: he admits that he loves watching Bill O’Reilly fume at the allegedly pernicious influence wielded by Beyoncé, because “there is very little in this world that I like better than an upset Bill O’Reilly.” And really, can’t that be said of any of us? A mean old cynic might think that O’Reilly’s fixation on Beyoncé — he’s done seven reports on her — was merely an excuse to run sexxy video clips “to perhaps provide his elderly viewership with much needed disapproval boners.” But Billo’s obsession is pure, and very real. He genuinely seems to think that Beyoncé is turning the kids into little sex monsters, as if adolescents have ever been anything but.

And what is so particularly bad about Beyoncé’s sexiness? For one thing, O’Reilly says, there’s that video that “glorifies having sex in a limousine” — before you know it, all the kids will want to try having sex in the backseat of a car or something. But jeepers, Bill, Stewart points out,

That song is about two married, incredibly successful independent entrepreneurs with a child, in a stable relationship, enjoying one of the sacraments of marriage in the back of a luxurious automobile. If that’s not a conservative utopia, I don’t know what is.

So what’s the problem? Cut to O’Reilly worrying about the terrible sexy example that Beyoncé is setting for all those teenaged girls, “particularly girls of color — she’s an idol to them.” And apparently the sight of Beyoncé enjoying married sex is contributing to the destruction of the black family. Happily, “senior Beyoncé correspondent” Jessica Williams comes on to take everything to a higher level of absurdity, weaving Beyoncé lyrics into every bit of commentary and becoming six months pregnant after a single Beyoncé clip.

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  • PubOption

    Beyonce did sing that she was a single lady before this limousine sex clip.

  • Boscoe

    Either Billo is the stupidest idiot moron to ever have a dumbass show on the boob tube, or else he is a youth marketing JEENIUSSS! Think about it: what could possibly make something more popular with the kids than hearing their grandparents (in a random moment of semi-lucidity at “The Home”) talking about how much Bill O’Reilly loathes that thing??