Happy Birthday John Travolta! You Turn 60 Today And Are Not Dead Yet!
Happy Birthday, John Travolta! You are 60! You are still not going to just come out and be happy and gay, which makes us sad, because you seem like a nice guy and we would like you to be happy. You should give yourself the gift of gay. Everyone loves that, though it is kinda hard to wrap. On today, your 60th, we are going to celebrate by thinking about when you were a remarkably charismatic and good looking young man, like this:
We’ll overlook the fact that you were actually 28 when you made a movie about being in high school, especially because your co-star Olivia Newton-John was 30 when she made a movie about being in high school.
We’ll also celebrate that you could gently mock yourself by dancing in Pulp Fiction.
We’ll salute the fact that you had the largest comb anyone has ever seen.
And, just because we like you and want to do you a solid, we’ll forget you ever made Battlefield Earth.
You probably want to forget that too, don’t you? Maybe meeting a nice boy will help you do just that, so get on out there, tiger, and happy birthday.