Joan Rivers Very Concerned That Lena Dunham Is Giving Everyone Diabetes

We actually sort of love Joan Rivers, mostly because of her sheer longevity in the face of culture utterly passing her by. But we do not love Joan Rivers for ranting about how Lena Dunham should not be naked or in a bikini because she is too fatty fat fat and oh fuck you Joan.

Guess what? Sometimes Lena Dunham likes to be naked! She gets to, because it is her own body and her own goddamn HBO show. Do you have an HBO show, Joan Rivers? No you do not. But Joan is afraid that if people see Lena Dunham’s gross fat body they will all eat themselves into oblivion and die of diabetes. No, really.

Rivers explains, “Lena Dunham, who again I think is terrific, how could she wear dresses above the knee? You are sending a message out to people saying, ‘It’s OK! Stay fat! Get diabetes! Everybody die! Lose your fingers!’”

She went on, “I love that she’s funny and love that she’s done well. But don’t let them laugh at you physically. If you look the way you look, Lena, and that’s fine and you’re funny, don’t say it’s OK that other girls can look like this. Try to look better.”

Actually, it is totally OK that people look like Lena Dunham. Lena Dunham has a gorgeous curvy body and looks fucking great naked. In fact, the only problem we actually have with Dunham is that her choice of clothing is sometimes awful Like this:

Or this.

Lena, sweetie. That dress has POCKETS. No one needs pockets in a sundress, and no one needs to jam their hands in said pockets should they happen to exist. Also, we’re not even going to get into that eyeball pattern thingy, because that is a horrorshow. Lena Dunham, our advice to you is stay naked, stay your awesome curviness, stay happy.

You do you, and Joan Rivers can shut the hell up.


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  • msanthropesmr

    That second dress is almost in fisheagle Romney territory.

    • glasspusher

      Fisheye? I see where you’re going with this…

  • edgydrifter

    Flash Question: Who would you prefer hanging around you naked–Lena Dunham or Joan Rivers? Exactly. Go away, Joan.

  • Hammiepants

    This from a woman who looks like she’s been assembled from the spare parts of corpses?

  • hongdb

    “. . . don’t let them laugh at you physically.” No one ever has. That says far more about Joan Rivers than about Lena Dunham. Heartbreaking things about Joan Rivers.

    • Homestar

      Yeah, that always gets me when I listen to her interviews. She comes from a different time and still obviously has crippling insecurity about aging as a woman entertainer.

    • Tracey South

      and , if you see Deborah Tinsley’s post, it is ironic because Joan has made a living doing that to herself and others. I say she has BDD.

  • Deborah Tinsley

    Joan Rivers, who made fun of her looks most of her career???? The thing is Lena Dunham looks normal. Most women are not size 2 or ever size 6. And Lena has a great body, it’s just not Barbie’s body or some other thin famous actresses’ body. And besides, Lena is really funny. Joan, Joan, Joan just leave her alone and move onto your next rant.

  • DonnaDiva

    Oh for the love of fuck will people please stop couching their fat-shaming of women, which is totes about aesthetics and a moral judgment, as “concern for her health”? Joan Rivers does not give one rat’s turd about Lena Dunham’s or any other woman’s health. Fuck the fuck off, fat-shamers.

  • Lena Dunham doesn’t look fat to me. Is that what “fat” is supposed to look like now? Because she just looks normal to me.

  • glasspusher

    Shut your trap about other people’s bodies, Joan, and we won’t make any comments about how plastic surgery gave you a wraparound face. Damn, I used to like Joan…

    • Tracey South

      I know , right. How can Joan look in the mirror and think that plastic surgery face of hers looks GOOD ? Good Lord every time I look at her all I can think of is she looks like a plastic cat with a fake face and she is one procedure away from total Michael Jackson facial surgery failure. She obviously has some kind of body dysmorphic disorder and makes a living projecting it onto other better looking people. “I mean, come on !” as she would say.

  • glasspusher

    I’m trying to figure out what that tattoo is on Lena’s shoulder. Looks like the Mandelbrot Set.

  • I like the eye dress