Mar 15, 2018
Jane the Virgin RECAP: Forgive And/Or Forget (S1:E12)
Previously on Jane the Virgin:
- #TeamJaFael (That’s Jane/Rafael if you don’t know) are still going strong although Michael is trying to worm his way back into Jane’s life
- Stop trying to make #TeamJaChael happen. It’s not going to happen. I hope.
- Anyway, Xiomara and Rogelio are going strong too, even after her vow of chastity. Let’s see which will last longer.
- Michael is working his way into the A plot by accusing Rafael of being Sin Rostro, the drug kingpin.
- Except maybe it’s Rafael’s father Emilio who is the drug king pin! Even Rose, his wife, thinks so.
- Luisa was put into a mental institution by Rose but she might be getting out soon
- Petra is hiding out from her Crazy Czech Boyfriend with help from Lachlan…who might be a crazy boyfriend himself
- Jane is working two internships–one at the Catholic school and one on Rogelio’s telenovela–and can’t decide if she wants to follow her dreams or go to heaven
- Well, something shady is going on in the writers room at the telenovela so maybe that’ll influence Jane’s decision
Get it? Got it? No? Too bad. We’re diving head first into telenovela land.
The Narrator explains that when Jane was a little girl, she was very well behaved. EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE TIME. I sat on the edge my seat with bated breath, wondering what exactly is the bad thing Jane did. Sneak out while she was grounded? Experiment with angel dust? Kill a man just to watch him die?
No, it turns out she borrowed Alba’s earrings without asking and lost them. Still, you’d think Jane killed a man with the way she cried and threw herself at her grandmother’s mercy. “I know what I did was unforgivable,” she sobs. Alba can’t stay mad at Jane, the martyr of Miami, and tells her it’s okay.
Alba tells Jane that because they’re family, they will always forgive each other. In the present day, Jane is trying to convince Rafael to forgive his sister Luisa and attend therapy with her. Rafael accidentally lets it slip that Luisa wants Jane there too, and Jane is all, “OF COURSE I AM GOING! SHE IS MY BABY’S AUNT NOW! BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER!” Rafael doesn’t want Jane there because he’s afraid of all the family drama that’s going to come out, so he agrees to go with Luisa to therapy–alone.
Rafael gets a call that Petra is causing trouble, and he visits her hotel suite. Petra is paranoid that her crazy Czech ex-boyfriend is coming back, and Rafael is like, “You are still employed by this hotel as an event coordinator for some reason, so go make yourself useful instead of plotting to ruin my life or whatever it is you do in your spare time.” Petra is forced to go to work since Rafael still signs her paychecks, but is not happy about this “work for a living” thing.
“Why can’t I have one non-crazy sugar daddy who pays for my everything?”
Jane goes to work as a writer’s intern and the head writer–a.k.a. Nurse Carla from Scrubs–informs Jane that she gets to write the script for the next episode! Remembering the last fiasco from Jane’s tale of two internships, Jane confronts Rogelio to make sure he didn’t tell the writers to give her work to make her feel important. Rogelio denies interfering and says you can tell he’s not acting because he’s not sucking in his gut or sticking out his chin. Jane sees his muffin top and double chin and concludes that maybe she does have talent after all!
Meanwhile, Michael confronts Nadine for tattling on him to the police chief for stalking Rafael. Nadine reminds him that it’s much more likely that Emilio is connected to Sin Rostro and he needs to stop being jealous of Rafael and Jane being together. She admits that she overheard Michael confessing his love for Jane, and Michael is all, “Maybe YOU’RE the jealous one here!”
As if! Nadine is not the one stalking Jane and trying to accuse her of a crime she may not have committed.
“God, what did I ever see in him?”
Emilio arrives back from his mysterious business trip and announces to his wife Rose that he wants to get away–just the two of them. “Pack for a long time,” he tells her. “Say, do you know of any countries that don’t have an extradition treaty with the U.S.? Just asking for this Trivia Crack question!” This adds to Rose’s fear that Emilio is Sin Rostro, or at least connected to him.
At Casa Villanueva, Xiomara and Rogelio are in bed together—no, not that way. They’re just in their pajamas talking about life, but the conversation quickly turns into sexual innuendo. “Do you want to have sex?” asks Rogelio hopefully. “No,” says Xiomara. Even though she found out that it wasn’t her vow of chastity that woke Alba from her coma, she is still committed to that thing.
Jane arrives on the set of the telenovela, eager to start writing her very first episode. Nicholas, Rogelio’s assistant, gives Jane the storyline and it’s more shocking than any telenovela story you can think of.
“Santos” being Rogelio’s character.
Nicholas explains that the network is tired of Rogelio’s crazy demands and they’ve decided to fire him. And since no one wants to write the episode, they’ve decided to pawn it off on the intern. Who happens to be Jane.
Rose tells Rafael about Emilio’s spontaneous business trip and insists that they go to the police. But Rafael insists on standing by his father for the good of the hotel and claims that there isn’t enough evidence that links Emilio to Sin Rostro. So Rose is like, “Okay then, let’s insist that we’re innocent to the police!” and Rafael is like, “No way, that would make us look guilty!”
What? If you cooperate with the police, that’s when you don’t look guilty, Rafael. I get the feeling that Rose could uncover all this proof and Emilio himself could dance naked in front of Rafael and admit that he was Sin Rostro and Rafael would still go, “Eh…I think we should wait until we have more evidence.”
I drew a picture of this scenario in case you couldn’t imagine it.
Jane suggests that Rogelio make nice with the writers and see if they will reverse their decision to kill him off. It goes about as well as you’d expect an apology from a well meaning but egotistical and ditzy man to a group of underlings to go. Head Writer Carla tells Rogelio that even despite his temper tantrum, the decision has already been made to fire him.
At the hotel, Rafael orders Petra to meet with a client who turns out to be her Crazy Czech Boyfriend! He explains that he wants to apologize for throwing acid at Magda as part of his anger management. After their meeting, Petra is so shaken that she cries in a stairwell… and who should come along to cheer her up? Jane, our paradigm of moral goodness!
“It is so exhausting being nice sometimes.”
Jane listens to Petra’s whole sob story and believes her. She tries to convince Rafael to forgive Petra, and he is like, “Uh, I’m already making amends with one crazy lady for you, Jane. I’m not adding another to my docket!” They go to Luisa’s therapy session, and she does the traditional “I apologize for the mistakes I have made as an addict” spiel. But then Luisa tells Rafael that she is upset with him for institutionalizing her…just like their father did with their mother.
“Say what?” asks Jane, who is finally starting to comprehend the crazy she is getting herself into.
Luisa and Rafael explain that their mother had a psychotic break and committed suicide. The therapist encourages Rafael to share what’s going on in his life with Luisa so she can feel a part of the family. Rafael cheerfully tells Luisa how there is a drug dealer in their hotel, killing people left and right, and the cops seem to think Emilio or Rafael are in on it.
“And you think it’s crazy in here!”
The Narrator adds that Luisa knows something about Emilio that she isn’t telling, but since she wants to get out of the institution as fast as possible, she’s going to clam up in hopes of an early release date.
Back at Casa Villanueva, Rogelio is sulking that the telenovela has recast his role. Xiomara cheers him up by suggesting he break into movies instead. “Well, I do have the perfect features for 3D,” says Rogelio. Ohmigod, does this mean we can get a Jane the Virgin 3D movie? #SixSeasonsAndA3DMovie!!!!
At the hotel, Crazy Czech Boyfriend emerges from the shadows, covers Petra’s mouth, and pulls her out of the frame. And hopefully off the show! Not to be mean to Petra, but her schemes to ruin Rafael do get old after awhile.
Luisa takes Jane aside and asks Jane to give Rose a letter. Because Jane is a paradigm of goodness, she agrees–but Rafael sees the letter and scolds Jane for taking it. He tells Jane, “I know you are full of forgiveness and everything, but I am emptier than a margarita pitcher at happy hour,” and tosses the letter.
Rafael meets with Rose, who insists they should go to the police lest they look like accessories to the crime. Rafael is about to ignore her until he sees Emilio shaking hands with the Sketchy Contractor from last episode.
“Oh crap. Now it looks like I’ll have to start believing.”
Michael visits the office of the plastic surgeon who might be performing all the surgeries in the secret tunnels and pretends to be a patient. He gets his brother Billy to place a call to distract the doctor while Michael prints out billing records. And guess what? The name Solano, Rafael’s last name, shows up five times!
Let’s hope it’s just not another Solano living in Miami who just wanted to get a face lift. But what are the odds of that?
Michael shows Nadine the billing records and admits that she was right–Emilio is the one connected to Sin Rostro, not Rafael! They get to work to get an arrest warrant. Hopefully this stupid subplot will wrap up as well.
On the set of the telenovela, Rogelio prepares to film his last scene and pass the torch to the next star…who is his assistant, Nicholas! The Narrator informs us that Nicholas has been secretly sabotaging Rogelio and making him look bad so the network would fire him. Then he banged Head Writer Carla to get a major part and got Jane to write an awesome script for her father’s death and his introduction.
Rogelio can’t even with this betrayal right now.
Jane calls Rafael and admits that she’s been too trusting. “I just don’t want to live in a world where people are so awful!” she says. Honey, do not you remember that you’re on a telenovela? Rafael tells Jane that maybe it is a good thing to trust people. He agrees to read Luisa’s letter.
As Rogelio films his death scene, it is juxtaposed to the Crazy Czech Boyfriend holding Petra hostage. AND HE SLITS HER THROAT!
OH MY GOD! I DON’T BELIEVE IT!
Oh wait, it turns out Petra and Crazy Czech Boyfriend faked the whole thing so that he could prove it was her mother who is the liar. In her distress, Magda gets up from her wheelchair, proving that she’s been lying about that, amongst other things, for all of Petra’s life.
Rafael reads Luisa’s letter, which contains some details about one of the murders at the hotel. When Jane comes home from work, he admits that maybe his father is Sin Rostro after all.
Well, I’m glad no one had to dance naked in front of him.
Rose meets Emilio, who insists on leaving that night. She convinces him to delay their trip for some quick nookie in a cement pit. THEN SHE POURS CEMENT ALL OVER HIM AND BURIES HIM IN IT!
That’s one way to telling your husband that you don’t want to go away with him.
BUT OH MY GOD THIS ISN’T OVER! Rose places a voicemail to Rafael’s phone and sobs how she was supposed to meet his father but now he’s gone missing. The Narrator explains that Sin Rostro isn’t Emilio, but Rose! Sin Rostro, get it?
Oh my God, I have never been more genuinely shocked in my life, and I’m the one who recaps How to Get Away with Murder.
So let’s review:
- Rose is Sin Rostro and she just killed Emilio and will most likely get away with it, considering how Michael is convinced it’s Emilio and doesn’t seem to do much actual detective work.
- Rogelio was fired from his soap opera, but hey, at least everyone like his death scene that Jane wrote. Maybe they’ll both still have futures in TV.
- Rafael and Luisa made a small step to reconnect with each other. Only 11 more to go.
- Petra made up with her Crazy Czech Boyfriend and kicked her mother out of her life.
- BUT OH MY GOD ROSE IS SIN ROSTRO!!!