VIDEO: Italian Stallion (1970)

Warning: This review is not safe for work, unless you work at a place that’s okay with you watching shots of Stallone’s balls. And ass. So much Stallone ass…

It’s Italian Stallion, the infamous softcore porno starring Sylvester Stallone that was re-released when he hit it big with Rocky. Originally titled The Party at Kitty and Stud’s, the movie is about a New York City couple (Kitty and Stud) who have sex, engage in light S&M, then invite some of their friends over for an orgy. The end. Features a special guest appearance by our own Cheap-Arse Film Critic, and also director Dick Bush, who unveils a new app that helps you do it like a pornstar!

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  • MichaelANovelli

    What the…?  I’M the only Italian Stallion around here!

    • Sofie Liv

       Sure you are.

    • Tedzey71

      I resent this statement, because we all know who the REAL Italian Stallion is!

    • Excuse me, I’m more italian stallion than any of you because spanish sounds like italian. And I’m almost like italian spiderman.

  • Kids today!

    If they should ever make a third Expendables movie, this movie of his should be the McGuffin. Perhaps Liam Neeson wants to discredit Stallone’s character by releasing this to the world and the gang has to stop him. But not before Lundgren gets a few laughs in.

  • Cameron Vale

    Is the shades-wearing porn director alter ego some sort of homage to Benzaie’s perverted alter ego, Master Bate?

    • I think it’s more of an homage to Dick Bush, who’s actually a porn director.

  • MichaelANovelli

    Watching this again, it occurs to me that Stallone’s got kind of a shovel-ass…

    • Russell Brin (Facebook sux)

      Were you singing the brilliant and thought provoking chorus to Big Sean’s song Dance that went…ass ass ass ass ass ass ass *lower pitch* azzzzzz azzzzzz azzzzzzzz azzzzzzzz

  • Best part for me is the dubbed-in line “someday they’ll call you the Italian Stallion!” What were they trying to accomplish there? Did they really think they needed to justify the title? Did they think people would walk out going, “Great movie! But WHY WAS IT CALLED THE ITALIAN STALLION?!?!?!”

    • Jojo

      It was originally titled ‘Puss ‘n Boots’.  The chick was not named Boots, if that helps. 

      • Uh… I’m not too clear on what you’re trying to say here. The original title is The Party at Kitty and Stud’s.

  • Liam Barrett

    I love this review. Also this was the first time I ever watched myself back on camera an was mostly happy with it.

  • Delawheredad

    Thanks for biting the bullet for the rest of us. I managed to avoid this cinematic gem for years and I am glad that I did.  Stallone was as bad a porn actor then as he is a bad legitimate actor now. Certainly not a career trajectory to be proud of.  

  • Dangerine

    Watched this recently and deeply regretted it. I knew it’d be terrible, but I didn’t expect the one thing the review didn’t mention – constant super close-ups of minge. Big hairy sweaty bush in MEGA close-up – filling the whole screen.

    I just can’t imagine anyone would ever be turned on by gigantovag. It made me feel like I was a gynocologist at a homeless shelter.

    (The black chick’s dancing was kind of awesome though. There, I have one nice thing to say.)

  • spiff2268

    For many years I’d heard that Stallone did a porn in his early career but I always thought is was an urban legend.

  • Jeff Stone Stone

    Look, you’re all wrong about Dick Bush….he is very clearly Depeche Mode frontman Dave Gahan from the early 1990s doing porn advice to pay for his smack habit.