Oct 30, 2019
This Insane Hearst Castle-Styley Chinois-Philic Hump Pad Is What $250,000 Buys You In Des Moines, Iowa
Do you live in New York, or Boston, or San Francisco, or Los Angeles? Please prepare to hit yourself in the head with a hammer.
Because in Des Moines, Iowa, you could purchase a 3,000-square-foot rancher, which by all appearances was once owned by Liberace’s Chinois-philic maiden aunt, for $250,000.
Oh, you have no idea what is about to happen.
This, for one! It is time to sit in your king chair, behind your golden bar, and leer contentedly as your swingles party humps all over the sunken floor.
This is your bedroom, that you live in. International art thieves would always be trying to break in and steal the Jewel of Whatever, except that you have tricked them by living in a ranch house in Iowa.
White for the orgy couches was probably a mistake. Your manservant has a fuck of a time with the jizz.
See those red chairs? I have that chair. JEALOUS?
This is your dressing table. You usually end up putting on a lot more eyeshadow than you should, because you look naked next to all the dazzle, and also because you are Liberace’s maiden aunt.
We have run out of things to say about these pictures. Here, have all the bathrooms!
Des Moines, be ashamed. Almost 90 days on the market, and no takers?