In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2008) (part 2 of 2)

I’ll skip ahead here and say that Ron Perlman and Turkish’s brother in law are thrown in a cell with Turkish’s wife. Later on, Perlman dies trying to break out, while the brother in law just sits on his ass the rest of the film. Aren’t you glad they were in the movie?

Meanwhile, Turkish is strung up from a tree by another Krug possessed by Liotta. It seems Liotta can read minds, not that we’ve seen any evidence of that ability, but for some reason he can’t get a read on Turkish. Rather amusingly, he broaches the subject by saying, “I can never see past your scowl.” It’s pretty much impossible not to hear that as an assessment of Statham’s acting. And here’s a thought, Ray: why don’t you just kill the guy so you don’t have to worry about it? Instead, he keeps monologueing, which allows Turkish to twist around and grab the Krug’s sword to free himself.

Caption contributed by Albert

“Loni told me you’d never amount to anything.”

Turkish then passes out and is found, quite coincidentally, by the king’s Magus, who brings him to King Burt’s camp and says what we’ve all figured out by now: Turkish is Burt’s son. Neither quite believes it, and Burt becomes quite the asshole himself by calling Turkish an “arrogant bastard.” Hey, the guy’s son was killed a few days ago because you did fuck-all to help him! I think you can cut him some slack on not liking you too much at the moment.

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Ryan Lohner

Ryan lives in Sparta, New Jersey, a quaint little burg without much for kids to do except go to the movies. Thus began a lifelong love affair, as even back then he grew to love examining why a film worked, or didn't. He is a member of the Sigma Tau Delta English Honor Society, and currently studying for a Master's Degree in Library and Information Science. His hobbies include running, piano, and annoying people with that damn lowercase forum user name.

Multi-Part Article: In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2008)
Tag: Razzie Contenders: 2009 Edition

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  • Unknown 1081

    On a sad note, RIP to Burt Reynolds…