I Know Who Killed Me (2007) (part 8 of 8)

They drive out to Douglas’ place, which is apparently out in the sticks. Dad regrets not telling the cops where they’re going, but Dakota reminds him they don’t have enough time. Um, hello? There’s this little device called a cell phone. You could have used one of those on the way over, couldn’t you? Oh, how modern technology has complete roo-rooed the noble cookie-cutter thriller.

Just when I thought my intelligence couldn’t be any more insulted, Aubrey’s voice comes in like Obi Wan Kenobi, telling Dakota that she’s running out of air. And then Dakota starts suffocating right there in the car. Dad tells her to relax, and breathe.

They pull up to Douglas’ place, and Dad apologizes for not believing Dakota. He should be sorry; If he had believed her, that would have cut this movie’s running time in half. Dad grabs a tire iron from the back of the truck and skulks over to Douglas’ house. He sneaks his way onto the porch, peeping in through the windows.

Dakota remains in the car, trying to telepathically get Aubrey to control her breathing. All sorts of random imagery gets thrown at us, like a tossed shit salad with a blueberry vinaigrette. But Dakota eventually gets things under control, and follows after Ninja Dad.

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Jack Spencer, Jr.

Jack Spencer Jr has lived in New York State his entire life at various points along the Thruway like an incontinent who has to stop at every rest area. He spent much of his youth reading books, watching television shows and movies. After high school, he became more aware of films on the extreme ends of the cinematic bell curve, both the excellent, such as Jaws, Citizen Kane and Casablanca, and the turgid, like Plan 9 From Outer Space, Robot Monster, and Jaws: the Revenge. When not writing recaps or posting on the forums with all the je ne sais quoi of a monkey flinging chocolate-frosted marshmallows at people, he's staring at the ceiling where he's tacked up a helpful note: "Get back to WORK."

Multi-Part Article: I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

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