Hudson Hawk (1991) (part 5 of 13)

Back at the Five Tone, Hawk finds Tommy sitting at the bar and looking at the newspaper. He asks Hawk how the meeting went, and again asks, “Did I miss anything?” Hawk replies with the one joke in my entire section that I actually find funny.

Hawk: Gates tries to blackmail me, you ask me, “Did I miss anything?” Gates gets killed. You say, “Did I miss anything?” Bet you went up to Mrs. Lincoln at the Ford Theater and said, “How was the show? Did I miss anything?’“

To cap this moment off, Hawk tries to make himself a cappuccino. But in keeping with the stupid running gag, and for no other reason, the cappuccino machine explodes in a shower of sparks. He comments that Tommy may want to have that looked at. Groan.

Caption contributed by Steve

The Plot-O-Matic self-destructs while trying to save the Hudson Hawk script.

Tommy is stoked that Gates has been killed, and asks who’s responsible. Hawk tells him that the butler did it. “He was a guy that was a cross between Alistair Cooke and a Cuisinart.” I was thinking more like a mix between Aleister Crowley and a Salad Shooter, but maybe that’s just me.

Hawk also adds that this same person completely destroyed the statue. He begins to explain that it was a Da Vinci statue, but Tommy already knows it’s the Sforza.

He knows this because there’s a confusing article in the newspaper about it. According to the story, burglars tried to steal it before it could be auctioned off, but in a slight deviation from reality, the paper says the attempt was thwarted by three brave security guards. Which is odd, because this is not even an article in the Boston Globe.

Tommy thinks this turn of events is a bonus for them, since no one thinks the statue was stolen. But Hawk is frustrated, and “tired of not understanding things”. I sympathize. He says “it’s all too goddamn peculiar”, and planting the seeds for the promise of high-brow hilarity to come, he asks Tommy how much a new tuxedo costs.

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Steve Pratte

An IT peon in the Midwest with potentially too much time on his hands and an affinity for Bollywood. I was first exposed to the glories of Crap Cinema when I was in high school and saw Mystery Science Theater 3000 for the first time. I've never been the same since. I happily serve The Booth as a moderator for a few forums and occasionally contribute material to the Mega Reviews.

Multi-Part Article: Hudson Hawk (1991)

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