Feb 28, 2003
Hudson Hawk (1991) (part 3 of 13)
Hawk exits the prison and takes a deep breath of fresh air, his first taste of freedom. But then a gunshot causes him to dive and flatten himself against the ground. Must be someone who got The Return of Bruno for Christmas.
As it turns out, the gunshot is just the backfire of a sweet red convertible driven by Danny Aiello, here playing Hawk’s best friend Tommy “Five-Tone” Messina. They greet each other warmly and Tommy asks, “Did I miss anything?” Sadly, Tommy’s “did I miss anything” will become something a running joke, if it even qualifies as a joke.
They embrace and Tommy teases, “What, no kiss?” I believe this is called The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name For A Damned Good Reason. Tommy promises “no tongue this time”, and since I won’t be around when Andie MacDowell makes her appearance later, I can’t label this the most disgusting moment in the film. (Would that I could buy a case of scotch for every recapper stuck describing that performance.)
Hawk starts to note that Tommy’s put on a few pounds, quipping that that he seems to have “been expanding [his]…” Tommy cuts him off, saying he’s very sensitive about his “fucking figure”.
Hawk replies, “My next word was gonna be ‘consciousness’.” I still hate you, movie.