Apr 29, 2018
How to Get Away with Murder: Blame it on the alcohol (no, seriously)
- University President Maria LaGuerta is unhappy Annalise got some good PR out of her Perv Client, becaue the university was ready to fire her over the “Killer” posters
- Laurel had a father-daughter bonding session with her Big Bad Dad. He told her where Fugitive Frank is, but Laurel lied to Annalise, claiming that she doesn’t know where he is.
- What We Know in the Future: Casa Keating is burning, a dead body was wheeled out, and Annalise is Suspect No. 1. Now there’s a survivor of the fire, although who it is is still unknown to us.
Let’s learn how to get away with murder, folks!
Again, there are no new clues in the flash forward about who the dead body is and who the fire survivor is. We only see Annalise pacing in her jail cell and being informed about the survivor. There are 4 episodes left until the mid-season finale, so I’m hoping we’ll get a couple more clues before then.
In the present day, Annalise goes out for drinks with her ex-girlfriend/current friend Eve. The two get hit on by annoying litigators, who are turned on when they learn Eve is a lesbian and Annalise is “complicated”. Even though the guys are obnoxious, Annalise has never turned down a free drink in her life. She and Eve party hard with the litigators.
Well, as hard as middle-aged lawyers can do in an after-work bar. Which I suppose is still pretty hard.
Annalise is hungover the next day, which means Asher has to take the lead in representing the Client of the Week, a poor, ethnically ambiguous teenager accused of committing credit card fraud. This kid is doomed and it’s not just because only white people can get away with credit card fraud.
First off, Asher is a terrible lawyer. The boy is literally reading off note cards in his opening statement. When Insenstive Drake breaks out the trigger fingers, the ANTLs can’t accuse him of just having Twitter fingers. Asher is getting bodied by his own incompetence.
Plus, the prosecution announces that Annalise has just had her license revoked. The reason? Someone turned in video footage of Annalise slapping the bitch out of her client.
Apparently, slapping clients is frowned upon and “He deserved it!” isn’t a good enough excuse.
Here’s a quick thing I noticed about the video: you can hear the audio of slap, which means there must be audio of Annalise telling her client that he should be grateful for the light sentencing since they pinned the murder of the runaway girl he actually did kill on someone else. I would think that “perjury” or “obstruction of justice” would be better grounds for revoking a legal license than a slap.
Annalise suspects the D.A.’s office leaked the video as revenge, and Nate offers to investigate for her, but Annalise turns him down. In the meantime, Bonnie will take the lead on the Client of the Week. Oliver does some hacking and notes that the defendant has been visiting a storage facility a lot. Bonnie and Asher confront him and he reluctantly shows them the storage unit, which is filled with baby items. The teenager explains that he committed credit card fraud to buy stuff for his unborn child. Although it was still illegal, Bonnie thinks it’s a sympathetic enough reason to get a light sentencing. They just need to produce the baby mama and the legal drama will be done.
However, the teenager reveals that this is not a Juno situation. It’s more of an All American Girl: The Mary Kay Letourneau deal.
(Quick sidebar: I couldn’t remember Mary Kay’s name, so I just googled “teacher pregnant by student” and found out that this summer, there was a Texas teacher named Alexandria Vera who got pregnant by her thirteen year old student. Please, if there is anything you can learn from the Agony Booth, it’s this: Teachers, don’t have sex with your students. Just don’t.)
Anyway, Bonnie wants to change tactics in the case and portray their defendant as a victim of sexual abuse. She plans on catching Mary Kay 2016 off-guard and outing the affair on the witness stand to maximize sympathy for their client. Asher worries that Bonnie is particularly aggressive due to her own history of sexual abuse, but when Bonnie reminds Asher that he once let his frat bros rape a girl and helped cover it up, he agrees that it’s best to expose the statutory rape.
Annalise gets advice from Eve on how to handle her case—and gets pretty drunk. Eve suggests Annalise simply retire and move to a new city and start a quiet life.
“And do what, be your trophy wife?” scoffs Annalise.
“I’d be down with that,” laughs Eve. She’s acting like she’s joking, but we all know she’s already redecorating the bedroom in her mind.
Annalise admits to Eve that she hired a hit man to kill Frank after finding out he was the reason for her stillbirth. Nate comes home to find the two hugging it out, which is awkward. Nate tries to confront Annalise about her flirtations, but unfortunately, he catches her when she’s drunk and in a foul mood. She doesn’t deny not sleeping with Eve and picks a fight. They break up, and in an act of petty revenge, Nate seduces the D.A. who hates Annalise.
The ANTLs have sex on their minds too. Well, specifically Connor and Oliver do. They’re both on Humpr, and while Oliver is dipping his toes into the dating pool slowly, Connor is jumping headfirst into a threesome with a couple of undergrads. He does take the time to make sure none of them are underage and makes them both use condoms, so at least he’s being responsible.
Oliver finds out that a university board member forwarded the video, and Annalise confronts University President LaGuerta. President LaGuerta doesn’t back down, so Annalise finally has a screaming match with an adversary who can actually handle her.
Unfortunately, this means that Annalise doesn’t win the argument by browbeating a lesser opponent. President LaGuerta reveals that if Annalise’s legal license is revoked, then the university can fire her without any trouble.
Bonnie outs the student-teacher affair on the stand, and teenage defendant gets acquitted. However, he’s unhappy because now his girlfriend will go to jail and his baby will likely end up in the foster care system. “You’re both horrible people,” he tells Bonnie and Asher.
Meanwhile, Laurel is trying to track down Frank, who’s now working at a creepy hospital and dropping tons of cash to buy canisters of chemicals. Wes catches her on the phone, so Laurel lies that she’s been helping Meggy plan a surprise party for him.
Although the surprise is ruined, the party still turns out pretty well. Oliver and Connor have a heart to heart about being broken up, and Oliver asks Connor not to be so obnoxious about his hookups because it’s harder for Oliver to date again with an HIV positive status. Connor apologizes and it looks like they’re becoming friends.
At her disciplinary hearing, Annalise claims to be an alcoholic (well, “claims” sounds like she’s making it up, but we all know she is one), and since alcoholism is considered to be a medical condition, Annalise is a protected class and has a chance at getting her license back. Eve congratulates Annalise and the two kiss, but Eve quickly puts a stop to it.
She reveals that she’s moving to San Francisco to be with her new girlfriend and
star in a Blacklist spinoff.
Finally, we find out what Frank is doing in the creepy hospital. It’s a prison hospital where Bonnie’s pedo father is living out his last days, and Frank speeds up the process by killing him. Is he hoping that a good deed will be enough to get Annalise off his back? Or maybe win sympathy from Bonnie to get Annalise off his back? Anyway, Laurel finds out about it and reports it to Bonnie. She admits that she knows where Frank is, but Bonnie doesn’t seem to care. “Don’t tell Annalise,” is all she says.
Guess Frank is going to do something bigger to win back that friendship. Perhaps an edible arrangement?
In the flashforward, Bonnie and Oliver are at the hospital, trying to uncover the identity of the fire survivor. Meggy, who’s a med student, is working at the hospital, although she ignores Bonnie and Oliver. She reports to the doctor that the patient is pregnant, and realizes that she knows who it is: it’s Laurel.
Who’s the father? Is it Frank? Maybe Wes? Is this a Jane the Virgin situation?
What We Learned About Getting Away with Murder and Credit Card Fraud:
- Get a job at a prison hospital and then wait for your chance to get close to your target. And since you’re the janitor, you can clean up your own mess.
- If you have a really good reason, like buying baby items for the pregnant teacher who statutory raped you, you’ll be acquitted.