VIDEO: House of the Dead (2003)

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After a six month hiatus, the Fear Fan is back! And this time, he’s taking on the Crapmaster General of cinema: Uwe Boll. Watch as the Fear Fan takes on what is quite possibly the worst film he’s ever seen, with plenty of bad acting, special effects-induced continuity errors, and a heaping helping of idiotic characters!

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  • Zook

    Holy shit, you’re alive! Great review. Hopefully the Friday the 13th movies don’t take 6 months to review.

    • fearfanforever

      Indeed! Alive! Alive and filled with GOO! BWAHAHAHAHA!
      Anyway, I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Usually I work faster on movies I like, and trust me, the Friday the 13th films are favorites. Also, I’ll be bringing back Fright Bites with a few important changes, so that should help to make the time between TO episodes go a little faster. :-)

  • MephLord

    I have an odd question. There is a credit for a title card by Nycea, but I don’t see it. Did I miss it at some point?

    • fearfanforever

      Sorry about that.
      If I try to add the titlecard at the same time as I upload the episode, the whole shebang freezes.
      Therefore, I have to upload the episode first, then add the titlecard later.
      Today, I started uploading the episode before I left for work, and since it didn’t finish before I had to go, I had to add the card when I stopped back home between jobs.
      Sorry for the confusion!

  • Zorha

    I hope I’m not the only one who feels this way but …

    We missed you!

    • fearfanforever

      And I missed you guys too!
      Don’t worry, this hiatus wasn’t the new norm, and I’ll be back in the swing of things very soon. :-)

  • kennzeichen1d

    The Fear Fan is back!
    Thought we would have lost you (to a better job, maybe?)

    • fearfanforever

      Don’t worry, my day job still sucks. :-)
      Yeah, I love doing the show, but there were a few personal things that cropped up and some rather severe technical difficulties I had to work around.
      Still I’m back now, and I can’t wait to start on Friday the 13th. :-)

  • kennzeichen1d

    By the way,
    on the subject of
    tax-write-offs through movie-financing:
    I dimly remember that in the late 1990s some of the movie-investors
    got together and decided:
    They don´t want to just give away their money anymore,
    they want to weigh in on the production, in fact, they wanted to become
    producers themselves.
    The result was a National-Treasure-like adventure that boooombed big time.
    (Wish I could remember the title.)
    That was the end of that endeavour.
    I wonder if Uwe Boll had anything to do with that.

    • fearfanforever

      It doesn’t seem too likely, although it wouldn’t surprise me. If you think of it, drop me an e-mail and I’ll be happy to take a look.

  • AspiringDevil

    Alright the my favorite Reviewer is back.

    • fearfanforever

      Good to be back! It’s always nice to know that you’ve been missed. :-)

  • danbreunig

    Now I wanna see you review DOOM. *Someone’s* got to do it for this site!

    Thanks Fear Fan for:

    -Coming back. And Welcome Back. Hope all’s well on your end.
    -Taking on HOTD. Now I won’t have to.
    -Keeping up in style. It really feels like you haven’t left us.
    -Hosting Agony Booth review #1001 (just ask Dr. O’B).
    -Making my evening.

    • fearfanforever

      You’re welcome, and you know what? I’ll go ahead and add that to my Season 2 schedule!

      I’ve got a few gaps that needed filling in anyway, and I was just thinking of that movie yesterday. It’s such a shame that they screwed it up despite having a good template with Doom 3’s plot…

      Still, I think that budgetary concerns might have been a nail in the coffin on that plan.
      Anyway, as for the points you thanked me on:
      -Glad to be back! There’s some stuff, but I think I’m past it now.
      -Taking one for the team. It’s what I do. Just ask Ilsa and Salo…
      -Thanks! It’s funny. A lot of internet reviewers develop a persona, but the Fear Fan is basically just me being me. Still, glad my technique hasn’t gone down the tubes. :-)
      -Really? That’s amazing timing!
      – That’s why I do it!

  • Nick Zbu

    Welcome back! And glad to hear that the Friday series is coming. WOO HOO!!

    • fearfanforever

      Yup! It’s awesome to be back in the game, and the first FT13th episode is already in the works. I’ll have a couple of Fright Bites episodes in the meantime, so don’t worry about getting bored!

  • Cristiona

    Good to see you back, and I’d say you did a good job capturing the… “essence” of this horrible, horrible movie. It doesn’t even have the charm of a bad movie. It’s just awful.

    • fearfanforever

      Nice to see that you’re still watching! And yeah, there are some movies that are so bad they’re good. This one is so bad it’s awful.

  • Thomas Stockel

    Welcome back, FF! You’ve been sorely missed.

    • fearfanforever

      Thanks, dude. Glad to be here!

  • Richard Eriksson Hjelm

    Now please don’t dissapear for such a long time again

    • fearfanforever

      Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty more coming up. :-)

  • TheScottCSmith

    Welcome back, glad you’re not dead!

    • fearfanforever

      I’m glad to be back, and the not being dead thing is a nice bonus!

  • $36060516

    On Jürgen Prochnow… the movies you named were all made 30 years ago, which explains the appearance here. Actors gotta keep payin’ the rent!

    • fearfanforever

      True, but there are less embarrassing alternatives, such as hosting game shows, working at Burger King, or male prostitution. If nothing else, there’s always the soft, gentle embrace of death! :-)

  • Earthbound_X

    Good to have you back, I’ve seen so many reviews of this movie, but I always like seeing different takes on it.

    • fearfanforever

      Yeah, it seems like everyone who watches it finds something new to hate! Or at least a different way to hate it…

  • Endorenna

    Welcome back! I’ve heard this movie was terrible, but I didn’t know why until now since I never summoned the courage (or boredom) to watch it for myself. I am so very glad I never got around to it. O_O
    At least now I know why Uwe Boll got to make as many movies as he did.

    • fearfanforever

      As usual, the Fear Fan suffers for the sins of others…