House Of Cards Spoiler Parade Recap: Get Better Power Lunches Please

If you’ve found your way here, it should be because you’re dying to read “House of Cards” spoilers. You can find previous recaps here. Under no circumstances do you get to complain in the comments that this has wrecked some part of the plot for you. It’s like you don’t even GET binge-watching. Let’s spoil some key things about episode two (and you can find the full list of recaplets here.)


Best appearance by a teevee news talking head


Rachel Maddow as Rachel Maddow, showing up to complain that choosing Underwood for Vice President is boring, nothing but a sop to Congress, and probably just a placeholder until 2016. Oh, Rachel, how little you know. Underwood watches for a while, then turns the teevee off with a decisive little snap.

Most depressing place for a Washington DC power lunch


Wannabe Whip Jackie Sharp’s dining with Representative Ted Havemeyer in a basement Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s dark and depressing and looks like they are dining underneath a prison somewhere. Shouldn’t all this scheming and groundwork for future betrayal be done somewhere a little fancier? Don’t you think they could get something nicer than wilted salads in plastic takeout containers? Massive power seems terrible if it means we have even shittier lunch options than we currently have.

Most awkward and inexplicable hug


Ex Herald editor Tom Hammerschmidt trying to comfort Lucas Goodwin over the death of Zoe. Goodwin was Zoe’s post-Underwood boyfriend and Woodward to her Bernstein. It isn’t that Goodwin couldn’t use a hug, as he’s disintegrating mentally and physically, complete with his editor telling him that he looks like shit and needs to be more professional-looking while in the office. Have the people running “House of Cards” ever met any actual journalists? Fashion is not necessarily their forte.

More recaps to come!

TV Show: House of Cards

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