House Of Cards Spoiler Parade Recap: Bad Ink

Did you make it to episode three of “House of Cards”? If so, you’re in the right place, because after the jump there is a magical land of spoilers that awaits you. If you haven’t made it that far, turn back now. Also, get better at gorging yourself on teevee, because you really should be much farther by now. You can find the rest of our recaps here, of course.


Best “hey it’s that guy” moment


Benito Martinez aka David Aceveda from “The Shield” aka Luis Torres from “Sons of Anarchy” shows up as the Republican Senate Majority Leader. The Aceveda character was a man who started out weak and hapless and ended up strung out and strong, so it will be interesting to see if he’s destined for the same type of arc here.

Creepiest hacker move

So Lucas has managed to find himself a Deep Web hacker, mostly because the FBI is setting him up so that he’ll stop mucking around into who killed Zoe. The hacker makes contact by making him go to a diner and then sending him an iPad (how much do you think Apple paid for all the product placement here?) with instructions. These are no boring text instructions, though. This hacker communicates by weird talking bird avatar.


Seriously, what is that thing supposed to be??

Most unnecessary plot point


Jackie Sharp gets a tattoo! Actually, she’s adding on to an existing tattoo, and has to skulk around in the rain, behoodie-d, to get to the tattoo parlor. There’s no reason given for the tattoo or the furtiveness, but the real issue here is holy crap this tattoo is ugly.

We’ve seen better tattoos on 75-year-old biker chicks. Jesus. You’re a master of the universe in training, Jackie. Surely you can afford a decent tattoo artist.

You know we’ve got more recaps coming.

TV Show: House of Cards

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