Hot Upcoming Kevin Sorbo/Dean Cain Flick ‘God’s Not Dead’ Brings Your Angry Uncle’s Email Forwards To Life
Good Christ it must suck to be the kind of Jesus-y person that only wants to consume media that is evangelical-generated and approved, because it means you get stuck with movie dreck like God’s Not Dead. This heartwarming tale of sticking it to your evil atheist college professors is theoretically named after a song by the Newsboys
…which brings to mind the illustrious movie/song hybrid classic “Convoy.”
But this movie, hitting theaters in March 2014, has an EVEN WORSE origin story than a really bad Christian rock song. This movie is basically a two-hour version of one of those emails that your angry uncle — you know the one? hates taxes and the poors and Obummer, loves FoxNews and Jesus except for the part where Jesus was humble and impoverished — sends you no matter how many times you tell him to stop, and it always flogs the same tired variations on the same incredibly exhausted themes.
Have you heard the one about the Atheist University Professor who was famous at his school for mocking Christianity and a belief in God? You know, the one where a brave Christian student finally stands up to the teacher and calmly and articulately reveals the irrational basis of the “professor’s” atheism and thereby causes the professor to flee the room in shame, at which time the student shares the Gospel with his whole class?
Maybe it wasn’t “Atheism” per se.
Maybe it was Evolution.
Maybe that student was “Einstein.”
Maybe it was a Physics or Philosophy class.
Maybe there was a piece of chalk involved.
The story is always the same: an arrogant, frothing-at-the-mouth atheist faces a Christian student who exposes him as a fraud. Evil is shamed, Good is proclaimed.
Have you had to pray to your Lord Jesus and Savior to resist the mighty temptation to just send back this email?
See what we did there? We’re like Satan with the fucking apple, giving you convenient linkage to this masterpiece, and now there’s no way you won’t start some family shit by sending this thing around.
Anyway, those types of emails — that is pretty much the entire movie. No, wait, that’s exactly the entire movie.
Present-day college freshman and devout Christian, Josh Wheaton (Shane Harper), finds his faith challenged on his first day of Philosophy class by the dogmatic and argumentative Professor Radisson (Kevin Sorbo). Radisson begins class by informing students that they will need to disavow, in writing, the existence of God on that first day, or face a failing grade.
Kevin Sorbo!! Nice to see Hercules is still getting work, though he had to slim down considerably, because Hercules was SWOLE, people.
On the other had, Dean Cain had to bulk way the fuck up because even his head looks large in this Jesus-fueled epic.
We’re not sure how we overlooked the opportunity to attend the God is Dead No Fuck You Really Dead school of undergraduate book learning, but we are very sad to have missed it.
[Ridiculous Professor Taken to Nth Degree Email taken from reddit]