A HappyNiceTime Thought Experiment: Would You Rather Interview Angry Harrison Ford Or Incoherent Harrison Ford?

A HappyNiceTime Thought Experiment: Would You Rather Interview Angry Harrison Ford Or Incoherent Harrison Ford?

We’re not really sure when Harrison Ford shifted into full-on John McCain grouch mode. At least as recently as a few years ago, he was capable of being civil as long as he wasn’t asked about his film career, because hahaha who wants to ask a mega-star about his career? Only idiots, that’s who! National Geographic, what because they are scientists with big brains, talked to Ford about his environmental work instead of his then-upcoming movie, “Indiana Jones, the Old Oldening,” and he was positively enthusiastic:


ADVENTURE: You were raised in the suburbs of Chicago—not exactly a place known for awakening eco-consciousness.
HARRISON FORD: I was just thinking about this the other day. I remembered a moment in my life that I hadn’t remembered for a long time—that happens more as you get older [laughs]. When I was 12, we moved outside the city to former agricultural land where they built all these tract homes. There was an irrigation ditch, and next to it was this little oasis of nature where a fox lived. I would go out there often and sit by myself. The fox became used to me and would come close—ten, six feet [two meters] away. And I think there’s something about that experience that tilted me toward nature in a different way than a visit to a national park or something would. I was struck by the fact that these houses we were living in, these streets we were driving down, had displaced something. That more than us belonged there.

If asked about his upbringing today, Ford might just outright shiv an interviewer, given the way his recent Q&As have sounded.

You’ve had a disproportionate amount of success with science fiction: the Star Wars trilogy, Blade Runner, now Ender’s Game—
That’s three out of forty-one.

Although it’s three of the more prominent ones, right?
If you say so.

I was going to ask you what draws you to the genre. But maybe you don’t see it that way.
I don’t see it that way at all. It really is a very small percentage of the films that I’ve done.

Between Ender’s Game and the Hunger Games franchise, why do you think we’re so entertained by kids killing one another?
[long pause] Beats the shit out of me. Ender’s Game is a very different kind of movie and a very different kind of warfare.

That sounds like a fun interview, doesn’t it? And it isn’t much better, unfortunately, when he gets more garrulous:


Is this real life? What on earth does the first half of the joke have to do with the other? Are there lots of whorish people in Canada and that is what makes it funny? Do you think he murdered Paul Shaffer with his bare hands backstage after Shaffer stepped on his punch line? Is Harrison Ford our grandpa now? No, he is not, which is too bad because at least if he was our real-life grandpa, we could put up with all the grouching and incoherent “jokes” because of the sweet inheritance payoff we’d get someday. All we regular folks can do right now is hope that if he does end up attached to the new “Star Wars” films no one asks him to talk about it, because the body count would be terrifying.


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