Hero Cat Fetches Weed For Remarkably Ungrateful Owner

Hero Cat Fetches Weed For Remarkably Ungrateful Owner

Weed-consuming people! Have you been feeling extra lazy lately? Not living somewhere where you can safely or legally cop? Consider making your housepets much more useful and teaching your cat to bring you some bud instead of doing what cats normally do, which is tearing up the drapes and batting your face while you’re sleeping.

An unnamed woman from the Dunedin, New Zealand neighborhood of Halfway Bush called cops this week to report that her cat had dragged a baggie with about five grams of pot in it onto her back doorstep. While the cat was undoubtedly proud of his haul, his owner wasn’t very pleased and called the cops to deal with the ganja.

Lady, why would you call the cops? Even if you don’t personally want to consume the demon weed, you probably know someone who does, and you could have made a tidy profit, as 5 grams goes for about $100 – $150 in New Zealand. Also, why deprive your cat of the joys of getting high? We’re pretty sure there’s no law on the books prohibiting your cat from getting stoned. Haha we have no idea if that is a true statement about New Zealand laws and we are not even going to look. For all we know, they have an entire section of the criminal code devoted to punishing cats for toking up, but it seems unlikely.

Even though Dunedin is supposed to be hella cool with weed, the cops there appear to to have WAY too much time on their hands, as they’re going to check the baggie for fingerprints. Really? Don’t Kiwis have actual crimes to worry about? Also too presumably the cat brought this gift home IN ITS MOUTH so the chances that you’re going to lift a perfect print and find this weed-possessing villain seems a bit slim.

We’d consider trying to train up our dog to do this as well, but our dog is so chill she’d just eat the weed herself and lay about the house for the next 10 hours, rousing herself only to eat taco-flavored Doritos, so looks like we need a feline friend if we want to pull this off.

[Toke of the Town/New Zealand Herald]

You may also like...

  • msanthropesmr

    You’d be much better off training the dog. The cat would turn state’s on you in a heartbeat for the promise of some tuna and a cat toy to be named later.ETA: You know, rereading the story, I am almost positive the cat in this instance was trying to set its human up.

  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    Be careful with the dog! From what I’ve heard, dogs get really hyper and run around like crazy when they get stoned.

  • Ambignostic

    They dusted for fingerprints? Do cats have fingerprints?

  • Jason M

    I’d have much more appreciation for cats if dead birds got you high.

  • The only time in history the police bought the “my cat found it” excuse.

  • thepoliticalcat

    1. NO you may not borrow my cat; 2. Damn that’s some ungrateful owner; 3. Love to stay and chat but I have some cat-training to do.