Help Us Make Best Friends With Some Diamonds This Christmas
As we get so close to the big day, you know it is getting time to go big or go home, which is why we’ve been waiting to ask you for this Ultimate Diamond Experience.
Sure, the name makes it sound like one of those car wash packages where they will steam clean your engine, and while that would be a lovely gift for a peasant, we deserve this $1.8 million diamond tourist trip.
As the owner of this 25-carat rough Forevermark® diamond, you’ll travel deep into the heart of Africa to discover where your stone began its journey more than one billion years ago.
This once-in-a-lifetime adventure starts with a trip to the De Beers headquarters in London. Once there, you’ll receive your exceptional diamond in its rough and uncut form, name your diamond, learn about the unique inscription it will receive, and meet the master craftsman who will hand-cut and polish it to perfection.
Well, we’ve already named our diamond in anticipation of you giving us this gift, so we really can’t wait to meet little Honky. So excited to finally put a 25-carat face to the name! We’re a little disappoint, though, as this London plus diamond thing seems a little thin for $1.8 million. What else do we get?
A private tour of The Crown Jewels and dinner with De Beers CEO Philippe Mellier and Forevermark CEO Stephen Lussier in the Tower of London follow.
Isn’t that the place that used to be a prison? Come ON Neiman Marcus. We’re not giving you this much money to slum it.
Your journey continues on a vessel off Namibia’s coast, where your diamond was discovered deep within the ocean floor. You’ll then explore rough-diamond sorting houses and a children’s community project, where the local population benefits from Forevermark’s responsible sourcing of diamonds.
Now THAT is what we’re talking about. Just make sure to hide the children with the stump hands from the stealing of the diamonds and the cutting off of the hands down the way, where those other, bad diamonds are. We’re paying to feel better about our rapacious consumerism, and that just won’t happen until you trot out some community organizers and “children’s community project” for our viewing pleasure. Now these children will dance for us, yes? DANCE, CHILDREN, DANCE! When we feel good, you feel good, so buy us this soon. We’d like to meet our diamond ASAP.
[We’d love anything you buy us from our Christmas list, but we’d probably love this most of all because of how it is really expensive.]