Heidi Montag's "Higher"

Heidi Montag is a name I have a passing familiarity with, unfortunately. I know of her through her boyfriend and reality television costar, Spencer Pratt. People seem to think that because my last name is the same as his first name, I must be a fan.

In any case, it looks like Heidi figured she could sing, and has released a song entitled “Higher”. Pratt is helping her by directing the video. My friend Ted sent me the link to this video with the comment: “Dude, you’ve got to see this!” Some months ago, I had sent him the link to 2 Girls 1 Cup with those same words. I suspect it’s terrible, but Ted already put me through “My Humps”, so how bad could this be? I’ll eat the bullet. Hell, I’ll eat a whole box of bullets so I don’t have to eye every flaming paper bag left on my doorstep with suspicion.

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Jack Spencer, Jr.

Jack Spencer Jr has lived in New York State his entire life at various points along the Thruway like an incontinent who has to stop at every rest area. He spent much of his youth reading books, watching television shows and movies. After high school, he became more aware of films on the extreme ends of the cinematic bell curve, both the excellent, such as Jaws, Citizen Kane and Casablanca, and the turgid, like Plan 9 From Outer Space, Robot Monster, and Jaws: the Revenge. When not writing recaps or posting on the forums with all the je ne sais quoi of a monkey flinging chocolate-frosted marshmallows at people, he's staring at the ceiling where he's tacked up a helpful note: "Get back to WORK."

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