Happy birthday, Victoria Principal! Your awful duet with Andy Gibb will outlive us all


It’s Victoria Principal’s birthday, which we weren’t really going to write about, because meh. What is there to say, really? We have only the very vaguest recollections of her role in Dallas, most of which revolve around her wearing a variety of different-colored swimsuits and hanging out by the pool like rich people do.

See? Black swimsuit and orange swimsuit. That’s what we call “range” in show business lingo, kids.


There was also those early ’80s aerobics videos and books, which we think were probably pretty much mandatory back then.


So yeah, not much to say, until we remembered she dated Andy Gibb and that some record executive somewhere greenlighted her and the youngest Gibb singing “All I Have to Do is Dream”, and it was just too terrible not to share with you people.

Listen, famous people who fall in love with other people, famous or otherwise: Your significant other may be the most spectacular person ever in and out of your bedroom, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be good at a thing you’re good at. We know this is difficult for you to grasp, but just trust us on this, okay? Oh, and happy birthday, Victoria Principal. You’re 64, and you now have a bazillion dollar skincare line, but mostly we’ll remember you for aerobic outfits and bad singing. Sorry.

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