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Happy Birthday Olivia Newton-John!

Olivia Newton-John is 65 today! Yay! Which actually makes her older than I would have guessed, I think. Wait, she was therefore 30 FUCKING YEARS OLD when she played high school senior Sandy in Grease:


And 32 when she played roller-skating young Kira in the incomprehensible Xanadu:


True story: I had never seen Xanadu until I was 40-ish, and then only under duress. Once the male lead came on, I proceeded to yell “HEY WAIT THAT IS THE GUY FROM WARRIORS” and make the bottle clinking sounds and say “Warriors, come out to PLAAAAYYYY”

…over and over until we shut Xanadu off.

Last year, she did a song with John Travolta that I was going to mock the shit out of but it is actually a kind of sweet, kind of hokey, song about coming home to see people you love, complete with awkward adorable dancing old people:

Takeaway: She still looks good. Travolta still looks like his head swelled, literally, an enormous amount post-1970s stardom. Is he on steroids or something??

Olivia Newton-John hasn’t always had such a great run of it, though. There was the boyfriend that faked his own death and went to Mexico. Just recently, there was the actual not-faked suicide of her groundskeeper at her house while Olivia and her husband were out of town. (Seriously, dude? You commit suicide at someone else’s house where you happen to work? Cold.) After the suicide, Rosie O’Donnell, who was supposed to buy the house, backed out of the sale, so Olivia had to have an exorcism on the place. No, really:

Grease star Olivia Newton-John ordered an exorcism at her $5.6 million Florida home to expel the spirit of a suicide victim.

Mrs Newton-John, 64, flew in a Catholic priest to conduct the ritual after Christopher Pariseleti, a 41-year-old contractor, died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound at the house last month.

She is said to have ordered the cleansing ritual to reassure potential buyers that the property is not haunted.

For real unironic congrats, ONJ, who still actually looks really good at 65:

Olivia Newton-John in Concert at the O2 Apollo Manchester - March 18, 2013


[final photo by PR Photos]

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  • x111e7thst

    Warriors. Man that takes me back – watched it for the first time at Hurrah. While trying to catch the eye of the lithe and lissome lovely on the other side of the dance floor. Which actually worked out pretty well if memory serves.

  • Suicide and exorcisms? Where did my Nice Time go? Nice Time.. come out to plaaaaayyyyy…

  • ONJ is my longest running celebrity crush.I don’t even mind her batshit fundamentalist religious views.

  • Hell, I don’t look as good as her now.

  • axonneuron

    Wow, I thought I was the only one who remembered The Warriors.

  • $73376667

    ordered an exorcism at her $5.6 million Florida home

    And there ya go.Speaking of people who own homes in Florida and California, did she ever get naturalized or is she pulling a Sir Neil?

  • BraunKommando

    So, is she a bit of a prude? I had to go look a the “Get Physical” video for some, uhm, ideas, and was terrible disappointed. While the idea/joke of the video sort of works, with the fat dudes getting buffed, she is covered from neck to toe, even in the shower. Really, no skin shown. And while she still looks pretty hot to me in “You are the one that I want”, the same happens there. So, I will formally complain that this is missclassified as there ain’t no sideboob to be oggeled here.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    Olivia Newton-John did everything the dude from Warriors did, except backwards and in roller skates.

  • calliecallie

    Didn’t she have breast cancer too, some years back? We should all look so good at 65.