Green Lantern (2011), a recap (part 4 of 9)

Welcome back to my latest patron-only recap! The full article is available to those who pledge at least $1/month on the Agony Booth’s Patreon page.

Previously: Abin Sur got dead, Hal got Abin’s ring, and a very svelte Amanda Waller got Abin’s body, which she turned over to creepy Hector Hammond, who got to perform the very first (real) alien autopsy.

Cut to Hal getting back to his apartment, and he’s got the lantern, and he slips on the ring. And even though when we last saw Hal, he was driving with his friend Tom, Tom is now nowhere in sight. Did he at least give Tom back his car, or did Hal decide he’s going to drive it from now on?

The dramatic music builds as Hal touches the ring to the lantern… and nothing happens. He lets out a disappointed whimper.

After a brief shot of Hector starting the autopsy on Abin Sur, we cut back to Hal talking to himself, and repeating what Abin told him about speaking the “oath”. But Hal has no idea what the “oath” is, and sarcastically says that of course he knows it because he used to “sing it at camp”. So he tries to improvise his own version of the oath with, “I, Hal Jordan, do solemnly swear to pledge allegiance to a lantern that I got from a dying purple alien in a swamp.”

“I, Hal Jordan, do solemnly swear never to use this lantern as a bong.”

It gets even less funny from there, as Hal tries variations like “To infinity and beyond!” and “By the power of Greyskull!” Which causes some disconnect, because I’m pretty sure the He-Man characters are part of the DC Multiverse. Eventually, he taps the ring against the lantern in just the right way that it starts glowing, and Hal’s face glows and his eyes get pale blue as he appears possessed and he suddenly knows the Green Lantern oath by heart, the one that starts with “In brightest day, in blackest night…” You know the rest.

“Let those who worship evil’s might, beware my power, because you won’t like me when I’m angry.”

But what should be a powerful moment is totally destroyed by a random cutaway to Abin Sur’s autopsy. We see Hector dig into Abin’s chest wound, and reach a spot that’s all covered in yellow goo. Hector gets hit with some of that yellow Parallax energy, which infects him through his glove.

“Ew, space boogers!”

Then we’re back with Hal reciting the oath, and when he finishes it, the lantern glows even brighter, and they haul in a wind machine to hit him in the face. But then someone knocks at the door, snapping him out of his trance and turning his eyes brown again.

Hal opens the door without bothering to ask who it is or look through the peephole, even though he has every reason to think people are after him for being at the scene of the spaceship crash. Luckily for him, it’s Carol, who wants to talk. But he doesn’t want to let her in, and instead asks her out for a drink.

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Multi-Part Article: Green Lantern (2011), a recap

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  • Marcus

    As it happens, our office just did a two-day session where they called everyone (including the nationwide-scattered telecommuters) to headquarters for “collaboration, communication, and connection” sessions. Now, I have a mental image of the Guardians calling all the Green Lanterns to Oa for team-building scavenger hunts, time-management lectures, etc. I suppose it wouldn’t have been any worse than the film we actually got.