Green Lantern (2011), a recap (part 2 of 9)

Welcome back to my latest patron-only recap! The full article is available to those who pledge at least $1/month on the Agony Booth’s Patreon page.

Previously: An omniscient voiceover gave us a crash course on the planet Oa, the Green Lantern Corps, Sinestro, Abin Sur, and the Guardians of the Whole Damn Universe. Meanwhile, a big yellow roaring cloud named Parallax managed to free itself from a what’s-lower-than-minimum security prison on Ryut, spelling doom for life as we know it.

Another caption informs us it’s “Six Months Later” in “Sector 2814”. Hey, that’s our sector! There’s a shot of space, and I think I can see my house from here! A big cavernous spaceship cruises into view, and it appears this giant craft has only one occupant: Abin Sur himself, being played by Temuera Morrison under lots of makeup.

“Maybe it’s time for me to get a couch in here. Or some potted plants or something.”

His ring beeps, so he points it in the air, where a holographic image appears of one of his fellow Green Lanterns. It’s Sinestro, played by Mark Strong, who like Ryan Reynolds has spent the last decade or so bouncing around through various comic book adaptations, including Kick-Ass, Kingsman: The Secret Service, and Shazam! And here’s where the movie’s obvious sequel baiting hinders the film; Sinestro is Green Lantern’s most well-known villain by far, mainly due to his presence on Super Friends! and other animated DC shows for the last forty-plus years. But here, he’s not even the villain, because they’re obviously saving him for the sequel that never happened. So instead, we get a big yellow blob that’s only been around since 2005-ish.

Unfortunately, not even the power rings can do a damn thing about male pattern baldness.

Sinestro informs Abin that “Fentara” is dead (another Green Lantern from the comics), and that the inhabitants of an unspecified planet have all been wiped out and their “essences” were “absorbed”. He says that it was just like “Talok”, and there were “traces of yellow power everywhere”, an obvious sign that Parallax wuz here. Abin asks what the Guardians have to say about this, but they’ve gone mysteriously silent, so Sinestro is heading to Oa to meet with them in person.

Sinestro’s call fades out, and then Abin’s ring flashes, which seems to be alerting him to incoming danger, because he hears Parallax whispering his name. His spaceship suddenly gets slammed with yellow energy, sending Abin bouncing around his comically labyrinthine vessel. Parallax invades the ship and chases after Abin, who hits him with some beams from his ring. Abin flies down a tunnel to hide from him, but then he hears Parallax growling just before he suddenly reappears. Wow, Parallax roars and he growls. I guess that makes him double-evil. Parallax shoots yellow energy at Abin, which wounds him in the chest.

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Multi-Part Article: Green Lantern (2011), a recap

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  • Kradeiz

    “And just imagine you have a piece of crap movie like this to thank for your entire existence.”

    I don’t know, I think that’s kinda hilarious.

    • And I just saw on the news that Blake Lively is pregnant with baby #3. They should name those kids Tomar, Kilowog, and Ch’p.

  • Jeff Bradford

    Wow, so Agonybooth is so void of integrity now that they FORCE people to pay a dollar to read their articles. Classy.