Gracepoint, yes, Red Band Society, no. Predictions for every new show on FOX this fall.

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Fox only has four fledgling shows to start the season, with five more ready to jump in as soon as there’s an open spot. Here are the official Happy Nice Time People predictions for the new additions to the Fox lineup:

Gotham

DESCRIPTION:

Gotta start here, of course. Fox is betting the farm that people love Batman so much they’ll watch a Batman show without Batman in it. Instead, it’s just Det. Jim Gordon vowing (and failing) to clean up Gotham City in the years before the Dark Knight comes along to save the day.

ANALYSIS:

Short answer: Prequels are inherently stupid, this one more than most. Long answer: click here.

PREDICTION:

Ratings crash throughout Season 1, a la Agents of SHIELD. The final numbers would be considered a smash on The CW alongside Arrow and Flash, but not on Fox. No second season, unless Warner Brothers unleashes all its wrath and power to force Fox into it.

 

Gracepoint

DESCRIPTION:

The murder of an 11-year-old boy turns everyone in a seemingly idyllic seaside town into a suspect.

ANALYSIS:

It was awesome when it was on the BBC as Broadchurch, and with much of the original team on board for the American version, it’ll be awesome over here, too.

PREDICTION:

Solid hit. The biggest problem will be how short the 10-episode season will seem to Americans and how to produce Season 2 before everyone loses interest.

 

Red Band Society

DESCRIPTION:

These teens come from all walks of life, but they all have one thing in common: cancer.

ANALYSIS:

Who the hell wants to watch a bunch of kids slowly die of cancer? This may well be a brilliantly written and acted drama, but I’ll never know because I’m not watching. I don’t think many other people will either.

PREDICTION:

Cancelled midseason.

 

Mulaney

DESCRIPTION:

A real-life standup plays a fictional version of himself hanging out with fictionalized versions of his friends in a sitcom simply known by his last name. Sound familiar?

ANALYSIS:

Who care if it’s a direct rip-off of Seinfeld! John Mulaney is fucking hilarious! In the plum spot of 9:30/8:30 Sunday night after Family Guy, this show can’t miss.

PREDICTION:

Big hit.

 

Empire

DESCRIPTION:

Like Nashville, but with hip-hop instead of country music. Also known as Lee Daniels’ Empire, much like Lee Daniels’ The Butler. (Butler screenwriter Danny Strong—who played Jonathon on six seasons of Buffy The Vampire Slayer—is also part of the creative team.)

ANALYSIS:

Terrence Howard stars, so that’s pretty awesome. And the hip-hop industry has a bit more edge than country, so that’s promising, too. But—how do I put this? Mainstream audiences? Is that the phrase I’m looking for? No, I totally mean white people—white people tend to be a little uncomfortable watching black people be so… well, black. Maybe that’s why Fox hasn’t set a premiere date yet. I should probably have pushed this show down to the midseason replacement section, but I’ve got faith.

PREDICTION:

Fox may need patience while this show finds its footing, but it’ll run multiple seasons if it given a chance.

 

Waiting in the wings are:

  • Wayward Pines (…is essentially Twin Peaks by M. Night Shylamalan; yeah, it’ll suck)
  • The Last Man on Earth (…is a sitcom about Earth’s last surviving human; yeah, it’ll suck)
  • Weird Loners (…is Big Bang Theory if they were all Sheldon; yeah, it’ll suck)
  • Backstrom (…is House if House were a police detective, i.e., a sucky-er Elementary)

Check out the official HNTP predictions for CBS’s new additions.

Then take a look at our forecast for ABC’s fledgling shows.

We’ve also got all of NBC’s newcomers

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