Google Glasshole Mugged At Taser-Point Because It Is The Future
We’re totally in favor of eventually having computers embedded in our heads, but sadly the precursor to this is Google Glass, which thus far has been a douchefest, from Google trying to trademark “glass” to that glasshole lady, it’s been terrible. Google Glass wearers even get robbed in a ridiculous way: at taser point. What??
A man wearing Google Glass was robbed of the hot new device and a laptop computer in Venice, California, on Tuesday. CBS Los Angeles reports that the thief—acting on the same day Google offered the $1,500 product to consumers—used a taser to threaten the victim.
Don’t get us wrong. We’d give up our electronic devices if you threatened to tase us too, but really? There’s just something so pathetic about having to give up your fancy ugly Google Glasses to a taser-wielding thief. You can’t even get robbed at gunpoint like a decent normal person, Glasshole. Instead your mugger has joined you in the 21st Century with his laser weapons or however tasers work.
At least the other recent Glass robbery was a good old grab and smash:
The Venice theft comes less than a week after Business Insider writer Kyle Russell had his pair of Glass ripped off his face and smashed to pieces in San Francisco. Russell, who had just finished covering a march in protest of a Google employee’s evictions of tenants, was left to grapple with the complicated evils of gentrification, and drafted a 1,000-plus word essay on the matter.
You do not want to read that 1000-word essay. Trust us. We read it for you. He was sad that he was mugged, and then he was sad that people did not feel sad for him, because they were too busy mocking him for Google Glass, but then he realized something about gentrification and had An Epiphany and maybe tech and non-tech people can hold hands and march together, heads held high, into the future. Whatevs.
We do not condone stealing things from people, even doofus-y looking things, via taser or smashiness or any other form of violence or trickery, but we reserve the right to laugh at the travails of early adopters because getting taser-robbed is kinda pathetic.