May 24, 2018
How to Get Away with Murder: Mama's Here Now... Or, Legally Bonnie
While Annalise acts out a Tennessee Williams play with her visiting mother, it’s up to Bonnie to act out Legally Blonde to win the Case of the Week!
Previously on How to Get Away with Murder:
- Annalise pinned the murder of Sam by the ANTLs on her boyfriend Nate
- That’s going to make anniversaries very awkward
- Dean Thomas is investigating what happened to Rudy, the previous tenant of his apartment, and suspects Goth Girl might be involved
- That also might make anniversaries very awkward
- Annalise did what any other woman would do when framing her boyfriend for her husband’s murder and all her employees are too incompetent to help her handle the guilt: she called her mother
Nate is in prison and not the fun Orange Is the New Black prison. He’s in the real, hardcore “Whose bitch are you going to be?” type of prison. Ain’t nobody singing “You’ve Got Time” in there.
America’s Next Top Lawyers are all troubled by the fact an innocent man is going to prison for them, except for Connor.
Annalise’s mother Ophelia, played by the phenomenal Cicely Tyson, barges in the front door of Casa Keating and then, in true Southern Black Momma fashion, scolds everyone for leaving the front door open. Frank and Bonnie think she is a random black lady who wandered in from the street and started yelling at them about home invasions so they try to politely ask her to leave.
“Don’t you know a VIP when you see one? Your boss came out of my v and her daddy’s p!” says Ophelia.
That is literally what she said. I cannot make this up.
Ophelia lets herself into Annalise’s bedroom and recaps these past thirteen episodes but better because she has a snarky, Southern accent. She announces that “Mama’s here now” and tries to get Annalise to get out of bed and take a shower.
“Mama, just five more minutes! Then we can talk about my husband’s murder!”
Dean Thomas informs the ANTLs that the reason Nate is a suspect was because he was investigating Sam for Lila’s murder. They worry that an innocent man who was just trying to bring justice to their case is now the real victim. Connor couldn’t care any less and votes they all hug Annalise to thank her for getting them off the hook. “Or do you think she’d like a fruit basket? What DO you get for a woman who just covered up your involvement in a murder?” he asks.
Bonnie announces that they have another Client of the Week and since Annalise is off re-enacting a Tennessee Williams play, she will be the lead attorney on the case. “Stop laughing,” Bonnie pouts. “I’m more than Annalise’s bitch.”
Only Asher is supportive, and that’s only because he still wants to bang her.
The Client of the Week is a mousy nurse being accused of raping a male patient. She’s such a mousy little thing and looks like she doesn’t even know what sex is, so the group thinks this will be wrapped up before the second commercial break In their opening arguments, Bonnie is actually doing well…until she effs it up big time by claiming her client is guilty instead of not guilty. “Not guilty, I meant NOT guilty! Oh crap, can we start over?” she asks.
The hospital is not thrilled that instead of Annalise representing their employee, they got blonde Bonnie. Bonnie vows to prove them wrong, just like how Elle Woods does, and gets the ANTLs hustling to knock down the prosecution’s witness. Score: Prosecution-1, Bonnie-1. So far, so good.
Back at Casa Keating, Ophelia cleans out Sam’s closet and starts organizing which ones can go to charity. Annalise scolds her mother for throwing Sam’s clothes into the poorbox, and Ophelia reminds Annalise when their house burned down, they took clothes from the poor box. Ophelia calls Annalise “Anna Mae,” and the two have an argument over why Annalise changed her name. Ophelia thinks it’s because Annalise was ashamed of her lower class background. “No, it’s because I didn’t want to be a walking country song,” snaps Annalise.
Ophelia gets to the meat of why she’s really there and asks if Annalise killed Sam. “You can tell me, only God can judge,” she promises. Annalise isn’t sure who it would be worse to judged by–her mom or God–so she keeps her mouth shut.
Back on the case, it is revealed that the Client of the Week posted to anonymous sex forums under the name “Freaky Nightingale” and described an incident that is eerily similar to the rape case.
Elle Woods never had to deal with this.
Client of the Week claims the sex was consensual and everyone tries not to snort in her face. Client of the Week switches tactics and reminds them that if they don’t win, her life will be forever ruined. The ANTLs still want to drop her and whine when Bonnie orders them to do more digging. “DO YOU TALK BACK TO ANNALISE WHEN SHE ASKS YOU TO DO SOMETHING?” screams Bonnie. “JUST DO IT.”
Ophelia comes downstairs to see what the yelling is about and orders the ANTLs to clean up the house for her. “Yes, ma’am,” they answer quickly and they get to work. They clean up the house first because Ophelia’s quiet, Southern demeanor is more frightening than Bonnie’s screeching any day.
Dean Thomas sneaks into the bedroom to tell Annalise that Goth Girl is being questioned about Nate’s involvement. Before she can advise him, Ophelia barges in and is scandalized that Dean Thomas is seeing Annalise with her ankles uncovered and sends him out.
Since Annalise didn’t tell her what angle to take in her questioning, Goth Girl tries to suggests that Nate is innocent and guilty at the same time. “I’m not saying Nate killed Sam…but maybe he could have. Or maybe he didn’t. I don’t know. Annalise didn’t tell me if I should send her boyfriend to jail or not,” she says.
IT Boy Toy does some sleuthing for the Case of the Week and complains how he should be added to Annalise’s payroll or at least get to meet her and the other ANTLs. Honestly, he should be an ANTL. Connor agrees to introduce IT Boy Toy to his friends and tries to shoehorn a “So what are we?” conversation, but it is cut short when IT Boy Toy finds the rape victim on a gay hookup app. Bonnie tries to use it in court to suggest that since the victim didn’t tell the court he was gay, maybe he’s hiding something else, too.
The judge tells Bonnie it’s irrelevant to their case and accuses her of being homophobic. Score: Prosecution-2, Bonnie-1.
The hospital wants to settle the case, but Bonnie refuses to back down. “I’m Elle Woods, people!” she insists, and then does what Elle Woods would do in a stressful situation like this: go get her nails done by her ditzy friend and practice the bend and snap. Oh actually, she decides to drink vodka in her office alone and cry about her life.
Guess the nail salon was closed.
Frank suggests Bonnie ask Annalise for help, but she refuses because she is sick of looking weak in front of Annalise. She wonders how she can win the case on her own.
Maybe the answer is at the bottom of this bottle.
Michaela is worried about sending Nate to jail, and she flirts with a lawyer for the prosecution to find out Nate’s involvement. She reports to the ANTLs that maybe Nate is guilty since he threatened to hurt Goth Girl if she didn’t help him. However, the other ANTLs think Goth Girl is just lying to save her butt. Dean Thomas offers to find out the truth, but instead he investigates what happened to Rudy. Apparently, Rudy was arrested for a freak out he had while on drugs and then shipped off to a mental institution–on the night of Lila’s murder.
Annalise finally gets out of bed to check in on Ophelia in the kitchen. In an attempt to shock her mother, Annalise tells her about the rape case, but Ophelia doesn’t believe women are capable of that kind of violence. She claims all women are nurturing and loving, which causes Annalise to scoff. “When have I ever been nurturing?” she asks. “When have you?”
These are them fighting words we’ve all been waiting for. Annalise cuts to the chase: did her mother know that Annalise was molested by Uncle Clyde?
“He’s dead!” shouts Ophelia. “He got what the Lord had coming to him! That’s all the matters!” Annalise is angry that her mother knew about the abuse and accuses her of being the reason that she is so messed up, but Ophelia refuses to be guilted. She recounts all the men who molested or sexually assaulted her and tells Annalise she should have suffered in silence.
Glasses of vodka are thrown, fingers are pointed, and finally, Annalise ascends the stairs dramatically after telling her mother to go home.
I would seriously watch a play about Annalise Keating and her mother on Broadway. Where can I buy tickets to this show?
End of Act I.
Meanwhile, Asher uncovers evidence that shows the rape victim visited the legal department of the hospital more than he went to see the actual doctors. Bonnie realizes that this is the part where Elle Woods finds out some seemingly innocuous information that turns out to help her win the case.
She announces to the court that the hospital lawyer and the victim are actually lovers and were setting up the CoW for the rape charge so they could take the settlement money from the hospital. It’s not as awesome as when Annalise browbeats the opposition into submission, but Bonnie still wins the case!
In the parking lot, Asher congratulates her on the case and tells her that he has always believed in her. Bonnie does what Elle Woods does at the end of the movie and kisses her dopey love interest and has sex with him against a practical sedan.
Frank has the misfortune of witnessing all this and is disgusted.
“Oh God, stop putting your hands down his pants. Elle Woods didn’t do that!”
Connor finally introduces IT Boy Toy to the ANTLs, and they pretend they are all friends. IT Boy Toy tells Connor that he is ready to be boyfriends again. Aw.
Goth Girl calls Dean Thomas, but he pretends he is stuck in the library and can’t talk to her. Laurel asks what’s up, and he confides that he worries that Goth Girl killed Lila after all and made Rudy go crazy to cover up her involvement. She agrees to help him track down Rudy to get the real story.
Back in Act II of Annalise’s drama with her mother, Ophelia tells Annalise that she did care that Annalise was being molested. She reveals that she killed Uncle Clyde and covered it up by burning the house down.
Annalise forgives her mother and isn’t sure how to feel about how murderous impulses run in the family.
Laurel and Dean Thomas team up and track down Rudy while Michaela sits in on Nate’s court hearing. Annalise finds her there, and Michaela admits she can’t let an innocent African-American man go to prison for her. Annalise promises she’ll fix it, and she meets with Nate in an interrogation room. Since their conversation is being recorded, she pretends to be a grieving widow who is upset that Nate might have killed her husband–but she slips him a number for a better lawyer.
Laurel and Dean Thomas question Rudy, who recognizes Goth Girl’s photo on Dean Thomas’s phone. All he will say is one word: “wet.” Dean Thomas and Laurel realize Rudy must have been a witness to when Goth Girl murdered Lila and stuffed her body in a water tank.
Back at the apartment, Goth Girl tracks the location of Dean Thomas’ phone and is not thrilled that he is at the mental hospital.
“Crap. Looks like I’ll have to kill him too.”
I always knew we couldn’t trust that Goth.
What we learned about getting away with murder:
- Track your boyfriend’s phone to make sure he doesn’t spill the beans
- Wait, actually Goth Girl won’t be able to get prosecuted for this due to double indemnity, right?
- Look up “double indemnity” and make sure you qualify