Gay Thought Leader Camille Paglia Weighs In On ‘Duck Dynasty’ And All Other Gays Can Shut Up Now We Guess

Gay Thought Leader Camille Paglia Weighs In On 'Duck Dynasty' And All Other Gays Can Shut Up Now We Guess

You are probably tired of reading about Duck Dynasty! We are tired of writing about Duck Dynasty. But just as we were about to take a long, refreshing, Duck-Dynasty-free break, maybe with a bubble bath and a Mai Tai, along comes Camille Paglia to share her thoughts on the matter and now we have to gird our loins and go read Camille Paglia.

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What’s that Camille Paglia? You speak for the trees and all gays because you came out a long time ago? Makes sense!

“I speak with authority here, because I was openly gay before the ‘Stonewall rebellion,’ when it cost you something to be so. And I personally feel as a libertarian that people have the right to free thought and free speech,” Paglia, a professor at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia, said on Laura Ingraham’s radio show Thursday.

Well, shut our pretty little gay mouths, because Camille Paglia has spoken and Stonewall libertarian argle bargle suck it libtards.

Huh. You’d think someone who ascended to the rank of full Professor at a bona fide university would have at least the vaguest knowledge of how free speech works and the First Amendment and such, but hoo boy you are wrong! As we will never tire of explaining (ok, that’s a lie. We are really fucking tired of explaining this.) there is no god-given right to consequence-free speech. You can say whatever dumb ass racist homophobe bullshit you want. The government can’t stop you, but your private company can! Sorry feminists!

Man, the worst part of dealing with Paglia is the right’s insistence that she is some sort of icon for the gheys and the feminists. As a gay lady feminist, I’d like to declare categorically that WE DO NOT WANT HER. We’ve thrown her back into the teeming sea of conservatroll derp. She is so not ours.

Anyway. This wouldn’t be a Paglia interview if she didn’t also throw in some nonsense about how she is a Democrat but they have left her behind so sad so mad too bad.

“To express yourself in a magazine in an interview — this is the level of punitive PC, utterly fascist, utterly Stalinist, OK, that my liberal colleagues in the Democratic Party and on college campuses have supported and promoted over the last several decades,” Paglia said. “This is the whole legacy of free speech 1960’s that have been lost by my own party.”

We do not think that is an actual sentence? If we have to hazard a guess, though, we think what she is trying to say is that the liberal wing of the Democratic party shut Duck Duckinson down because he gave a magazine interview. Honey, the Democrats can’t get it together to speak with one voice on things we actually care about, like immigration, but you think we’ve coordinated an attack on your precious faux-cajunbilly show?? Bonus points for fascist AND Stalinist, though. Bravo.

You know the rest, because this is Camille Paglia, people. Civilization is drowning in illiterai because we don’t let people just stone cold yell at us in college anymore, read the classics, Madonna is amazing but other female pop stars are not, cultural criticism is dead except for Camille Paglia’s big brain. You know the drill.

This has got to die down soon, right? We cannot talk about these people anymore. Can we just make A&E give Camille Paglia a show where she interviews Phil Robertson 24/7 and the good folk among us who value our brainspace need never watch it, and the angerbears who want to listen to these people can have unfettered access? Seems like a fair bargain to us. Someone write a petition, or do a Kickstarter or an IndieGoGo or however the cool kids are crowdfunding these days. Please. Our very sanity depends on it and you are our only hope.

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[Daily Caller]

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