Dec 26, 2016
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (2005) (part 1 of 4)
The Cast of Characters:
Cloud Strife. Our hero from the video game, and the hero in this movie, during which he displays a whole range of emotions; from sulking, to brooding, to scowling, all in an exciting, emo fashion! Legally prohibited from smiling.
Tifa Lockhart. The girl Cloud should have hooked up with. Her fisting abilities make her very popular!
Barrett Wallace. The man with the silver gun arm! He doesn’t really do much other than show up, swear, and shoot things. He’s here to kick gum and chew ass… or… something.
Kadaj and the Crunch Bunch. A pack of whiny, annoying, always-crying, emo-ish, Sephiroth cos-players who are somehow great badasses, thus giving us a great example of an Informed Attribute. Apparently representing elements of Sephiroth’s personality, though not so you’d notice. Really, just three Oedipal losers, but scary in a Hot Topic kind of way.
The Turks. Reno and Rude are the only ones who matter, and even then they’re just pointless comic relief.
The rest of the good guys. Don’t do much, don’t really matter.
The dead. Sephiroth, Aerith, and Zack were all dead at the end of the video game, so of course they’re still dead and can have no bearing whatsoever on the plot. None at all. Glad we have that cleared up.