Mar 15, 2021
Welcome To Bob Dylan And Pharrell’s Brave New World Of Faux-Interactive Videos, America
Wait, are you still actually watching music videos on the regular? Is this a thing the kids are doing nowadays? Do you watch music videos and think “gosh, I wish I could be a part of that?” (No, wanting to be in the unrated video for “Blurred Lines” and cavort with hot naked ladeez does not count. Everyone wants to interact with that, gnome sane?) Apparently, this is A Thing that many people have wished for, because we now have interactive videos from both Pharrell and Bob Dylan. The Dylan video seems to have hit the internet one day before Pharrell’s, but we suspect there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth in both camps given how similar they are. Can we embed them for you? Haha of course not because these things are locked the fuck down and you have to go to the artiste websites to get all interactive. So go there. But not now. Read this first.
Let’s get one thing straight. “Interactive” probably does not mean what you think it does. You do not get to crawl inside your television, because you know that is not how televisions work. Unlike Bjork, who isn’t actually certain how television works, we think.
In this case, “interactive” mostly means that you can pound away at your computer like a monkey and it will jump you from one part of the video to the other. In both the Pharrell and the Dylan videos, moving things around will jump you to a different person lip syncing the song, because that is apparently a thing we want to see now? America, were you all clamoring to watch random people lip sync songs and no one informed us?
The Dylan video is for, weirdly, 1965’s “Like A Rolling Stone.” Hope you weren’t holding your breath for this vid to drop. The interactive bit here is that you can change channels and watch different people on different fake television shows lip sync the iconic lyrics. Why? You tell us. Is the metaphor that you’re a rolling stone just flipping through channels? Is that what the song was about all these years? What a fucking letdown.
Pharrell’s video is for “Happy,” his song on the “Despicable Me 2” soundtrack. This video’s conceit is that it is 24 hours long, which it really is, and you can jump from minute to minute in the video and see – you guessed it – people lip syncing to the song in different locations. And in the daytime it is sunny! And at night it is dark! To be fair, Pharrell at least shows up in his video sometimes, unlike Dylan, and Pharrell does indeed look super happy dancing around with puppets and such, but it isn’t like we are going to watch this thing on the real for 24 hours straight, because in that time the song would repeat approximately 350 times and although it is a great song we would murder everything if we watched or listened to anything for that long, even if it is the weirdly agelessly good-looking Pharrell.
If you don’t feel interactive but just want to listen to the song for about 75 times in a row or so without the time jumping, there are non-interactive 4-hour chunks on YouTube.
We would pay someone to try to watch all 24 hours of this thing, but we probably can’t afford the amount of cocaine we’d have to provide to keep you up for 24 hours running when your only external stimulus is the same song again and again. Oh well. Have fun fake interacting.